Observations of a Crazy World

Thoughful Thursday ..... do you want to be a princess?

2012-02-16T08:22:00.001-05:00

An article popped up in my newsfeed today about Disney Studio's newest Princess. Her name is Sophia and she is a little girl (as opposed to the others who are young women). She is meant to be "a positive and educational role model" for preschool girls (and no doubt sell a lot of toys).

There is also a new Pixar movie coming out over the summer called Brave, featuring Princess Merida, who is a "girl" trying to compete with the boys.

There was a point in time when even my five-year-old son was in a princess frenzy, carrying around his small Princess Peach toy everywhere he went. He has since decided he does not like princesses and has no desire to be a prince.

The article about Sophia made me stop and think. It talks about how hopefully this princess (since she is so young) will do more than sit around and wait for her prince to come.

The battle over whether or not Disney princesses are good or bad role models for young girls is endless ....

"This could go on for several movies, touching on points about racism, cookie-cutter gender roles and absurd resolutions that indirectly tell the audience women are powerless"

"Of course a princess movie is romantic and often ends in a wedding, but that is a genre expectation. Growing up watching Disney need no more make a well-read girl think marriage is the only route to happiness than growing up on Westerns forced me to be a cowboy"

I loved Snow White and Sleeping Beauty when I grew up. Even as a young adult I could watch Beauty and the Beast or The Little Mermaid over and over. I wanted the dream. I wanted to be saved. I admit, I brought my oldest son to see Mulan when he was very young, not because I thought he would be interested in a Chinese war movie .... but because I wanted to see Disney's attempt at a strong female role model. I was disappointed .... not because it was a bad movie, but because it showed women that to be powerful they needed to act more like men. Even the trailer for the new Pixar movie seems to be sending the message that no longer will the princess wait around for a prince to save her, she will act like a man and then be successful on her own.

As an adult I learned that being a princess is not all it is cracked up to be. We learned from Princess Diana that being a princess is not all glitz and glamour. And the recent Princess Kate had premarital counseling to avoid the depressing that Diana dealt with. It makes you realize that perhaps Princess Jasmine from Aladdin was right in leaving the castle to pursue her dreams ..... which do not include being a trophy wife.

My new favorite television show is of course Downton Abbey. These are women that I can see as good role models. Caught between the era of women having no rights or independence, to women wanting and fighting for it. The battle between tradition and social change. And with it all a castle, Lords and Ladies; Dukes and Countesses. In the end our heroine, Lady Mary, gets the boy as well. It has all the romance and feisty ladies all rolled into one - where the men have the power, but the women have the strength.

I was fortunate that I birthed boys. I don't think I would have been a good mother to daughters. They would have been confused as I spouted strong female values .... and still sat down with a big bowl of popcorn to daydream about living in a castle and falling in love with a handsome prince. So instead of raising the next generation of Disney Princesses, I am raising the next generation of Princes. Who (I hope) will value women for what they are instead of what they look like. Who will value independence and free thinking while at the same time showing respect and tenderness. And to those moms who refuse to let their little girls imagine and dream of being a princess I say "lighten up." You can find good role models in the princess realm, as long as you are willing to sit down and talk about it with your little girl about the reality of being a woman.

Wordless Wednesday

2012-02-15T14:44:00.000-05:00

Literature Tuesday .... a little something from me

2012-02-15T07:25:00.000-05:00

The Real World

I remember as a child

Counting shells at the beach at the edge of the tide.

The ocean tickling my toes with its babble & bubbles,

Before quickly returning to the sea with a urgency to see other shores.

My body smelled like coconut & sand

Briny and Fresh

My skin was tight with dried salt,

My ears full with the call of the gull & the woosh of the shore

My back was hot from the sun, my face cool from the ocean breeze;

As I sat in my bright orange bikini with big yellow flowers.

And I counted my shells,

For these were my currency for a long day …..

Of being a captain of a pirate ship,

Saving my bounty from the waves crashing the rocks.

For being an environmentalist,

Saving starfish from the killer rays probing their tide pool homes.

For being the queen,

Saving my castle from the surge of the sea.

For walking from one end of the beach to the other,

Saving the most beautiful shells from the depth of the tide;

To settle in my pile and be washed and shined and counted;

As I dream of distant lands and treasures that will come my way.

Today is a bright and sunny day,

Warm breezes kissing the trees outside.

And as I remember back to my youth,

And my shells

I count the people bustling by,

All as unique as the shells on the beach.

Black and white

Men and women

Tall and short

Bobcut, dreads, pony tails, afros & braids

Long skirts, short skirts, suits, slacks and jeans,

High heels, no heels, sandals, sneakers & boots.

Single parents, expecting parents,

Parents of twins, triplets or quads,

Hopeful, frustrated, tired parents,

Those wishing for children,

Those happy to appreciate the children of others.

People who work in an office,

People who push paper, movers & shakers,

People who make things, sell things, create,

People who make millions,

People who make the rent.

Some live in grand mansions,

Some in one room apartments,

Some in cozy cottages or dorms,

Some carrying their home in their backpack,

Some live in glass houses and should not throw stones.

Dreaming of distant lands and treasures that will come their way.

~Leann (6/28/10)

Medical Monday ..... Lupus and Valentine's Day

2012-02-14T07:32:00.000-05:00

I got the following blog post in my in box today. I was in the process of searching for medical news for today's blog. I had decided I would try and avoid lupus stories, you know, investigate things I don't know much about. Not dwell on my illness because there is so much out there that needs to be studied and cured.

But then I got this newsletter from the Lupus Foundation of America about love and lupus. Since it is the month of love I thought it was a good time to do some sharing.

I have had long winded discussions about what it is like living with lupus. But sometimes we forget what life is like for the people who live with people with lupus.

I was 35 when I was diagnosed with Systemic Lupus Erythematosus and Lupus Nephritis. It was a crazy year!

That was the year I married my soul mate. It was the year I went through the worst pregnancy - filled with complications, 6 months of vomiting all day, medications, hospitalizations, low hematacrits - and then an emergency c-section at 28 weeks to a 2 1/2 pound, 15" beautiful baby boy! He was in the hospital for 10 weeks before we could bring him home (I remember the day we brought him home, we were afraid they were going to arrest us for taking him out of the hospital - and then we swapped off sleeping because we were afraid to leave him alone without having the machines to tell us he was breathing). When he was in the hospital I went back to work so that I could have the time off when he came home in September. When he came home, I would work from home 3 days a week and he came into the office with me 2 days a week.

I was exhausted. I had been since the day I realized I was expecting. But then the day came that changed everything. I had fallen asleep on the futon in the living room and I woke up with my eyelids swollen shut. We had just brought the futon out of storage and I thought maybe there was some kind of mold or something that got in the futon and I was having an allergic reaction (I laugh now because the biggest worry at the time was how we could afford a new couch if we had to throw out the futon).

So I went to the allergist - no allergies. But some odd blood work - my hematarcit was really low, but I was not iron deficient. He mentioned autoimmune and said I should contact my primary care physician.

I then did the one thing that no one should EVER do when a doctor mentions a diagnosis in passing. I looked up autoimmune disease on the Internet. There are over 100 Autoimmune diseases and when you look at the prognosis of a lot of them it isn't very good .... words like renal failure, fatal, death. But I was optimistic and called my doctor.

She had no idea what was wrong with me. And that is ok. We have this illusion that all doctors know all this about every medical condition known to mankind. But I am ok with a doctor who says ..... your test results infer something I am not familiar with, here is the name of a specialist who can better treat and diagnose you. So, I called the rheumatologist. She was not taking new patients, but said she could see me in a month. I thought, this is good, it can't be that bad if I can wait a month for an appointment. She told me to have some bloodwork done so that she would have a clear picture of what was going on and I scheduled my appointment for a month later.

Two days after I called the rheumatologist I got a call at my office. She had gotten my test results and could I come into the office that afternoon. Now I was worried. My husband and I started talking about what we would do if ..... if it was cancer, if I had to take time off from work, if somehow it was still the futons fault.

The rheumatologist told me I would need to see a nephrologist since the test showed my kidneys were not filtering the way they should. So, three days later I was in the nephrologist's office. Up until this point I had no idea what a nephrologist did ..... I am not even sure I had ever heard the word. At this point I had so many blood tests taken that my arm was black and blue from my elbow to my wrist and they had to use butterfly needles to get any blood (again, I had no idea until this process started what a butterfly needle was).

To say I did not like the nephrologist when I first met him is an understatement. He was very gruff and matter of fact ....... your kidneys are not functioning, you need a kidney biopsy, your blood pressure is too high for a kidney biopsy due to the edema so you will be in the hospital for several days, make child care arrangements, you will be admitted tomorrow.

And I sat there stunned.

Once all the tests were done and I was home I got the phone call .... you have stage 4 lupus nephritis ..... very aggressive ...... 2 years chemo therapy ..... prednisone until the chemo starts to work ..... we will start next week ..... have more bloodwork ..... very serious. And behind all of this, how am I going to tell my husband. What am I going to tell my kids?

My husband's mother died from complications of lupus before people really knew what lupus was. So for all the conversations we had about what could be wrong with me, we never mentioned the "L" word. I vaguely remember how or what I told him when I got off the phone with the nephrologist. What I remember was his response "Are you dying." And my response "Not today." And then he said "I can work with that."

I gave him the option at that point .... you can walk away, no hard feelings. He reminded me of the vows we had taken only 7 months earlier ..... in sickness and in health. It has no doubt been hard on him. I wasn't the easiest woman in the world to live with before I got sick .... I am even worse now. When you finally realize you have no control over your body, no control over your illness, you try really hard to have control over everything else in your world - and being that I was a control freak before lupus this does not bode well for the men in my house!

But my husband stuck it out .... 5 years later my kidney disease is in remission and I only have to deal with the SLE (which I refer to as my annoying lupus). And my husband takes care of me .... when I am tired or in pain or just worn out and fed up. He cooks and cleans and takes care of the kids when I can't. Tries to console me when I cry for no reason or understand when I am just angry.

We live a good life and I am grateful. But loving someone with a chronic disease can't be easy. So for Valentine's Day I am going to try and do something special. But there are no guarantees that will happen .... I could be asleep by 6:00pm.

Family Friday ..... the words we teach our children

2012-02-03T17:19:00.000-05:00

I have been thinking a lot about language. It started the other day when I heard a news report about Newt Gingrich referring to President Obama as the "food stamp" president and the implications that has on the topic of race in our country.

Then last night the 5-year-old brought home the greatest book "Wild About Books" by Judy Sierra. It was the greatest play on words and used "big" words in a way that children want to know what they mean. We read it so many times last night that my throat hurt:

"As the cheetah's new novel began to take shape,

He read chapters each night to the Barbary ape;

And although the gazelle couldn't spell very well,

Like everyone else, she had stories to tell.

Imagine the hippo's enormous surprise

When her memoir was given the Zoolitzer Prize."

And this morning a friend shared a blog on Facebook: "Being Retarded"

It really made me start to think about how we teach our children to communicate. I hear it everyday -

"That is so gay!"

"You are so retarded"

"She is such a douche"

And don't even get me started on the "N" word!

When I was a kid I was called a lot of names. I was different and sat alone a lot. There were a lot of reasons for that and I have gotten over them. But I remember very clearly coming home from school crying and my mother saying:

"Just tell them sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me"

I tried it and the name calling got worse because now they wanted to make me hurt. And words can hurt!

When I was a kid bullying was about hitting. It was about fear of being physically hurt. Grown-ups, school officials, the police were not interested in name calling. They were not interested in groups of popular kids communicating their disdain for the "weak" in hurtful words. I recently read an article on verbal bullying and it was interesting to me that we now have a word for it.

But the reality is parents allow it. Parents use those phrases. Parents allow children to watch "reality" television that use those words. Parents allow their children to use those words.

I heard a small child once call another small child a "dumb ass" and instead of reprimanding the child and telling her not to use bad words or call another child names; the mother giggle and thought it was cute. The child then ran around the table singing "your a dumb ass."

I believe in free speech! I am a liberal after all. I believe that when I am out with my children and I hear this type of language I can use it as a learning moment and explain why that is not appropriate, why it is hurtful (usually loud enough for the other parent to hear me - I admit to being passive/aggressive). I believe that I have the right to turn off a television show I find offensive. I have the right to not allow my child to watch a show I think has hurtful language and poor treatment of others. That is my job as a parent. It is a job that I love!!!

Parenting is a job that gets harder everyday ..... televisions, Internet, smart phones ..... we have less and less control over what information our children consume when they are not sitting directly in front of us. And then there are the children in school whose parents think it is cute to hear their child say the word "dumb ass." Those children have much more influence on my children then television ever will.

So I combat the language issue in my home - when we talk about each other, when we talk about others. I teach that words can be as hard as stone .... and they should be thrown about with caution ..... after all, we are all people who live in glass houses.

Wordless Wednesday

2012-01-19T18:49:00.000-05:00

Sharing Maya

2012-01-17T22:10:00.000-05:00

For literature Tuesday this week I thought I would share Maya. I have mentioned before that she is my idol. When I was a kid - lost and trying to find my way - Maya saved me. She showed me that women could be strong and scared at the same time. She showed me that honesty is always the best option. She showed me that I could dream and succeed and triumph. She gave me strength.

I devoured everything she wrote. But in the end this poem, the first poem, is my favorite. I also read the book, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, which always helps me remember that even when I think life unbearable, it could be worse and I will survive.

I finally broke down and asked for a Nook this Christmas and I was lucky enough to receive it. I have always been a "book" person. I love them - the pages, the type, folding the corner neatly, writing notes in the margin - the experience of reading a book. On the other hand, it is difficult to carry all the books I love with me all the time, to read while waiting for an appointment, to read at lunch, to read on the train. This allows me to always have all the books I want in a format small enough to carry in my purse - plus I can watch movies, update facebook, and if I wanted to, write my blog. I decided on the Nook over the Kindle not because of any specific feature or the price because each device is primarily the same. But, if I have a problem with the Nook (which is completely possible since technology is moving faster than my brain can keep up) I can just go to the Barnes & Noble and get help, instead of trying to figure it out while on the phone with a tech person. I digress, but the point is, I have added a lot of Maya to my "wish list."

There are certain authors whose work I can read over and over again. Maya is one of them. Every time I open the book it is like a childhood blanket or those really comfortable shoes you just can't throw out. And at the same time, I always find something new.

She made me want to write, to paint pictures with words. She can get to the bare bones of pain on one page ..... and create a world of hope on the next. And I now intend to read it all again.

Wouldn't Take Nothing for My Journey Now

Phenomenal Woman

And Still I Rise

Even the Stars Look Lonesome

So, for today I share with you Maya ..... my idol!

I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings

The free bird leaps
on the back of the win
and floats downstream
till the current ends
and dips his wings
in the orange sun rays
and dares to claim the sky.

But a bird that stalks
down his narrow cage
can seldom see through
his bars of rage
his wings are clipped and
his feet are tied
so he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings
with fearful trill
of the things unknown
but longed for still
and his tune is heard
on the distant hill for the caged bird
sings of freedom

The free bird thinks of another breeze
an the trade winds soft through the sighing trees
and the fat worms waiting on a dawn-bright lawn
and he names the sky his own.

But a caged bird stands on the grave of dreams
his shadow shouts on a nightmare scream
his wings are clipped and his feet are tied
so he opens his throat to sing

The caged bird sings
with a fearful trill
of things unknown
but longed for still
and his tune is heard
on the distant hill
for the caged bird
sings of freedom.

Addendum to Broccoli Kazan!

2012-01-13T18:05:00.000-05:00

I always start the day with the very best intentions! However, the day did not work out that way. Instead of a hair cut, food shopping and cooking I spent the day on the couch with a headache and an inability to get out of my own way.

Then the teenager decided to go out with friends instead of coming home for dinner and the 5-year-old didn't ask to cook. So instead of a gourmet dinner culminating in Broccoli Kazan, I made Hamburger Helper!

There is always tomorrow.

Family Friday ..... Broccoli Kazan!

2012-01-13T10:04:00.000-05:00

Sometimes after story time, the 5-year-old doesn't like to go right to sleep so we lie down and watch TV. You have to be very careful what is on the television, the goal is for the child to be bored enough to fall asleep. So, we watch Food Network. I didn't realize how much he was absorbing.

Yesterday he was shopping with my husband and wanted to get ingredients to make Broccoli Kazan (we still have no idea what that is). He began running around the produce section of the store grabbing ingredients (broccoli, cantaloupe, etc). When my husband asked what the heck he was doing his reply was "that is the way the chefs get ingredients on TV" ( think Chopped and The Next Iron Chef).

So, this evening when dinner is being made - we will have a new side dish - Broccoli Kazan. And then tomorrow we will be having our own Cupcake Wars (that may be the next Wordless Wednesday post). For today I will share some recipes for a dinner that may go with broccoli kazan and cupcakes. Bon Appetit!.

Stir-Fry Empress Lemon Chicken

I love this recipe. Since Broccoli Kazan ingredients include rice (and Apple Jacks Cereal) Lemon Chicken may be the way to go. Whenever I make this I always feel the need to add more lemon. I love lemon!

Lemon Spinach

For this dinner I will make just the spinach. When I cook I like to have a "theme." For tonight I am thinking Lemon. Did I mention I love lemon!

Lemon Risotto

I have never made this one but always wanted to. But I think I will forgo the lemon cup.

And then tomorrow for Cupcake Wars!

Strawberry-Lime Stuffed Cupcakes

Prep Time: 25 minutes Inactive Prep Time: 1 hour Cook Time: 30 minutes
Yield: 6 jumbo cupcakes

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/4 teaspoon fine salt
2 large eggs, room temperature
2/3 cup sugar
3/4 cup unsalted butter, melted
2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
1/2 cup milk

Icing:

o 1 1/3 cups confectioners' sugar, sifted

o 1 1/2 tablespoons finely grated lime zest

o 2 tablespoons freshly squeezed lime juice

o 1 drop green food coloring

o 6 large ripe strawberries, hulled

o Green sanding sugar

o Fresh mint leaves or candied leaves

± Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Line the muffin tin with cupcake liners.

± Whisk the flour, baking powder, and salt together in a medium bowl.

± In another medium bowl, beat the eggs and sugar with an electric mixer until light and foamy, about 2 minutes. While beating, gradually pour in the butter and then the vanilla.

± While mixing slowly, add half the dry ingredients, then add all the milk, and follow with the rest of the dry ingredients. Take care not to over mix the batter. Divide the batter evenly in the prepared tin.

± Bake until a tester inserted in the center of the cakes comes out clean, about 30 minutes. Cool cupcakes on a rack in the tin for 10 minutes, then remove. Cool on the rack completely.

± For icing: Mix the confectioners' sugar and lime zest in a medium bowl. Add the lime juice and mix with an electric mixer to make a firm but pourable icing. (If needed, add up to 1 teaspoon more juice, but take care if the icing is too loose it doesn't set properly.) Add food color to make a pale pastel green icing.

± To assemble: Remove cupcake from its liner. Cut and remove a strawberry (coned) shaped portion of cupcake from the top of each cupcake, leaving about 1/2 to 1-inch of cake in the bottom. Stuff each cake with a strawberry and cover with a little bit of cake. Spoon and spread icing over the top of the cupcakes. Sprinkle with green sanding sugar. Top with small mint leaves or candied leaves.

Cookies & Cream Cupcakes

So, this weekend will be a fun-filled cooking weekend! Perhaps I am planting the seeds for the next celebrity chef! Have a great weekend!!!

Wordless Wednesday!

2012-01-11T07:19:00.003-05:00

Literature Tuesday..... Mariana

2012-01-09T20:44:00.000-05:00

I remember when I started college I had very little experience with "literature." I read a lot, but I was unfamiliar with literature. American public high schools do not prepare students for that. I of course was not a great student so that may have also been part of the problem.

But then we read Tennyson and I met Mariana. My heart broke for her. I wanted to put my arm around her and help diminish her pain. And for the first time I started to look at language and the ability to paint pictures with words. While in college I tried to appreciate literature, but never had the time. There were works to be read and papers to be written and all on deadline. The professors wanted us to analyze and dissect and explain. All of this took the brief spark of Mariana away and I studies, as I was supposed to and got through college.

And then I began commuting to work and needed something to read on the train. I reintroduced myself to the authors and the words that had been mundane while I was studying them. I fell in love with Dickens and Austen .... muddled my way through Hawthorne and Shakespeare. And even if I did not understand the political background or the satire I enjoyed the stories.

Today my bookshelves are full of the classics (and every Stephen King book written). They have become fond friends. And while I got a Nook for Christmas which will make carrying my "books" easier, I will never dispose of the books on my shelves ..... even the ones that are highlighted to the hilt with notes in the margins!

Mariana by Henrietta Rae

Mariana in the moated Grange

Alfred Tennyson

With blackest moss the flowerpots
   Were thickly crusted, one and all,
The rusted nails fell from the knots
   That held the peach to the garden wall.
The broken sheds looked sad and strange,
   Unlifted was the clinking latch,
   Weeded and worn the ancient thatch
Upon the lonely moated grange.
     She only said, "My life is dreary,
       He cometh not," she said;

She said, "I am aweary, aweary;
I would that I were dead!"

Her tears fell with the dews at even,
   Her tears fell ere the dews were dried,
She could not look on the sweet heaven,
   Either at morn or eventide.
After the flitting of the bats,
   When thickest dark did trance the sky,
   She drew her casementcurtain by,
And glanced athwart the glooming flats.

     She only said, "The night is dreary,
       He cometh not," she said:
     She said, "I am aweary, aweary,
       I would that I were dead!"

Upon the middle of the night,
   Waking she heard the nightfowl crow:
The cock sung out an hour ere light:
   From the dark fen the oxen's low
Came to her: without hope of change,
   In sleep she seemed to walk forlorn,

   Till cold winds woke the grey-eyed morn
About the lonely moated grange.
     She only said, "The day is dreary,
       He cometh not," she said;
     She said, "I am aweary, aweary,
       I would that I were dead!"

About a stonecast from the wall,
A sluice with blackened waters slept,
And o'er it many, round and small,
The clustered marishmosses crept.

Hard by a poplar shook alway,
   All silvergreen with gnarled bark,
   For leagues no other tree did dark
The level waste, the rounding grey.
     She only said, "My life is dreary,
       He cometh not," she said;
     She said "I am aweary, aweary,
       I would that I were dead!"

And ever when the moon was low,
And the shrill winds were up an' away,

In the white curtain, to and fro,
   She saw the gusty shadow sway.
But when the moon was very low,
   And wild winds bound within their cell,
   The shadow of the poplar fell
Upon her bed, across her brow.
     She only said, "The night is dreary,
       He cometh not," she said;
     She said "I am aweary, aweary,
       I would that I were dead!"

All day within the dreamy house,
   The doors upon their hinges creaked;
The blue fly sung i' the pane; the mouse
   Behind the mouldering wainscot shrieked,
Or from the crevice peer'd about.
   Old faces glimmered through the doors,
   Old footsteps trod the upper floors,
Old voices called her from without.
     She only said, "My life is dreary,
       He cometh not," she said;

She said, "I am aweary, aweary,
I would that I were dead!"

The sparrow's chirrup on the roof,
   The slow clock ticking, and the sound
Which to the wooing wind aloof
   The poplar made, did all confound
Her sense; but most she loathed the hour
   When the thickmoted sunbeam lay
   Athwart the chambers, and the day
Downsloped was westering in his bower.

     Then, said she, "I am very dreary,
       He will not come," she said;
     She wept, "I am aweary, aweary,
       Oh God, that I were dead!"

Medical Monday: I wish I understood this better!

2012-01-08T21:35:00.002-05:00

The headlines are a little scary!

Monkeys Born from Stem Cells

Chimeric Monkeys Born in Stem Cell Study

Chimeric Monkeys Boast Six Genetic Identities

First I needed to look up the word "Chimeric." Which, according to Merriam-Webster means: "relating to, derived from, or being a genetic chimera or its genetic material." So I looked up the term Chimeric and came up with this:

a fire-breathing she-monster in Greek mythology having a lion's head, a goat's body, and a serpent's tail

an imaginary monster compounded of incongruous parts

So, that made it a little more scary .... so I investigated further and looked up the medical definition and came up with this: An individual, organ, or part consisting of tissues of diverse genetic constitution

Still pretty scary! So I started reading the articles. And I admittidly did not fully understand what they were talking about. But several phrases made me even more nervous:

"cloning primate and even human stem cells, into living breathing organisms"

"More interestingly, although they have both male and female DNA, they are all developing as males, because masculine genes have dominated the monkeys development"

Science is not my area of expertise. I won't even try and pretend otherwise. But I do understand the basic need for stem cell research. And I am torn. I understand the desire to be able to regenerate organs to save lives; the desire to use stem cells to treate Type 1 Diabetes and the desire to relieve symptoms of Parkinson's Disease. But it is scary.

My dad remembers when things like stem cell technology was part of comics. I remember when video phones were on the The Jetsons and yet today even my Nana Skypes. So, I look to todays science fiction and creating life from a petri dish scares me. Movies like Children of Men, I am Legend even Project X. So my fear is, are we playing God and what will the consequences of that be?

I completely understand the desire to end pain and save lives. But what if we are not supposed to? What if this is how the human population contains growth? I would love to find a cure for Lupus. I would love to find a cure for small cell lung cancer (a disease a very good family friend was recently diagnosed with). But at what cost?

I don't have the answers. I am not even going to try and have the answers to these questions. It hurts my heads enough to get through the articles. But a future of genetically modified children, genetically modified food, growing organs in a petri dish, creating life in a lab scares me ~ I think it should scare all of us to the point that we keep a closer eye on the people push the line in the sand a little bit further all the time.

Happy New Year .... what are your resolutions?

2012-01-01T00:06:00.001-05:00

It is now midnight! A new year has begun. My days of going out and drinking myself senseless with my friends have long since past and this evening I altered between watching the Walking Dead marathon and cooking for dinner with friends tomorrow. But now it is 12:01 am and it is officially time for the best New Year tradition .... the resolutions!

I am not sure why I go through this process every year. I never keep them, and by February I feel like a failure. But here I am doing it again.

I will not procrastinate! It is probably my worst habit. I am full of good intentions but in the end I work better under stress and I do things last minute (seeing as I started this post on New Year's Eve and have still not posed it, I am not sure this resolution is going to work for me this year).
I will quit smoking!!!! I want to purchase a new car. I am hoping that if I start putting the money I save from smoking less away for the car I will have a better chance of quitting. I decided that I will not focus only on the fact that it is bad for me. I have been smoking since I was 14 years old and have known for the past 24 years that it is bad for me and obviously that hasn't changed my mind. Maybe a monetary reward will. Since New Year's I have not smoked more that 10 cigarettes a day. In February I will cut that down and then in March cut it down again and so on, until I quit.
I will listen more than I speak. I am outspoken. I need to remember that not everyone wants my opinion when they tell me something. I know this because most of the time I don't want people's opinions when I tell them things. I need to remember that the best friends, spouses, and parents are better listeners than they are speakers.
I will stop trying to be superwoman!!! Logically I know that the more I try and do, the more tired I will be and the less I will accomplish. For the past five years I have tried to do everything I did before I had lupus. I basically try and forget I am sick. I want my youngest son to have the same mom my oldest son has. That just isn't possible and it is about time that I realize it. That does not mean I am giving in .... it means I am becoming realistic.
I am going to go to the gym! I don't understand why this is such a problem for me. I fully admit that I feel better when I go to the gym. I have more energy, I eat less, I don't need as much pain medication, I can focus better ..... and yet if there is something I need to give up I give up the gym. Can someone explain this to me please.
I will find my creativity again! When we purchased our house I lost my craft room. All my supplies are still in the basement waiting for a home. I will organize the guest room so that it can be a multi use room, guest room, office & craft space! And I will create!

So that is it!

Tomorrow starts a new week and I have done some organizing so that a few of my resolutions will be worked on. I got a Nook for Christmas and there are several apps I have been looking into that will help me to organize and live better. It is time I start using technology for more than my job!

Here is to a fabulous new year!!!!

Family Friday ~ It is Christmas .... Let the Games Begin!

2011-12-15T08:40:00.002-05:00

My husband and I begin the holiday season each year on Black Friday. We have been doing this since we started dating (again) 6 years ago. It used to be fun. We always started at Target. There was coffee and donuts; a silly security guard; and always one woman trying to be in charge that everyone else laughed at. My husband and I never looked at the circulars before hand or knew what was on sale. We just went and people watched .... if we got a good deal thrown in all the better.

This year was no fun at all! The stores now have corrals and barricades around the stores, keeping people not only in a straight orderly line, but also keeping them from stomping each other when the stores open. Gone are the coffee & donuts, random Christmas carols and comradery. Black Friday has become instead Dante's 5th Circle of Hell! It is sad really. But at least from now on my husband and I can sleep late the day after Thanksgiving because I do not think we will be doing this again. I feel like Christmas has become Whoville at the beginning of the Jim Carey version of How the Grinch Stole Christmas! And this year I feel like Cindy Lou Who!

We like tradition. Spending time with family. Lots of lights and decorations - some of which my husband and I have had for a long time. Letters from Santa. A Charlie Brown Christmas. I think you get the point. But it does not seem like tradition (or Jesus for that matter) has much to do with Christmas this year. Bigger TVs cheaper TVs .... faster more expensive computers ..... car commercials changing lyrics to Christmas carols ... and the very few people practicing the fine art of Christmas cards .... I could go on and on about what is wrong with this Christmas. But I won't!

Instead I will talk about how fabulous it is to sit here and watch my Christmas tree all aglow - covered in ornaments I have been collecting since I was 16 and worked in a Hallmark store. We needed a new tree this year. My husband searched far and wide for one we loved. We looked at all the new fancy prelit, easy assemble, rotating, outrageously expensive trees. What we found was an old fashioned - no lights - tree for a quarter the price of all the outrageous trees! And we love it! It fits almost all the ornaments, but we have several other small trees in our very small house to take care of that. Our house actually looks like a gingerbread house outside, with a Santa perched on the chimney.

I have found some really great gifts this year that I am proud of. But still have no idea what to get the husband or the teenager! I really should get on that with only 9 days to go!

And in all the bustle I found this article on being destressed during the holidays. Usually I read articles in women's magazines for a good giggle this time of year. They talk about handmade gifts and decor and fabulous extravagant dinners with plates on chargers with handmade name cards. That is just not my world and I can never figure out where people who do this find the time. Usually this time of year I think paper plates and napkins with gaudy poinsettia prints are just fine for me! As long as there are lots of people to share it with.

So I shall end with one of the best holiday traditions .... I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight, "Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night."

post-script:

As I was about to post this blog about the lack of Christmas spirit in the world I heard music .... Christmas music. I put down my laptop and went to the front door and outside was a band. Decked out in full holiday gear .... playing Christmas music for the man next door who has had a really rough year, both economically and medically. For a moment rekindeling my faith in the holiday season.

Where Have I been?

2011-12-15T08:12:00.003-05:00

It has been a really long time since I wrote a post. I got really side-tracked with the Occupy Movement. And then I got really disappointed in the movement and felt guilty about it so I stopped writing. But the other day as I was driving to work I realized how much I missed the blog and decided to get back to my roots (my very young blog roots).

I still belive in the fundamental spirit of the Occupy Movement. And I really think now that the majority of the "occupations" are over it really can begin to sprout roots of a movement. As I listen to polititians gearing up for the 2012 elections they too have begun to create sound bites supporting the movement. But really it is just that, sound bites and face time. Until the movement has some leadership and a clear message they will not be effective. Nor will they be seen as more than a bunch of unemployed people complaining. I believe they are more than that - even if I became cynical of the people who were taking leadership roles. That had all been sorted out at the Boston Occupation - before the courts shut them down. So I do believe there is hope that the movement will grow into something more. And I am proud to say I had a very small part in the beginning - sowing the seeds sort of speak.

The other reality hit me that I am not a good protester. Life got in the way. It is hard to go to a protest when you work 40+ hours a week and have two children depending on you when you get home. I know there are lots of people doing it and I tip my hat to them. That however is just not my world. I became obsessed with following news coverage, commenting on other blogs, updating the list of news articles and trying to get to General Assembly meetings. My work was suffering, my family was being neglected, and lets not even begin to talk about my health. So, I let it go and I felt guilty. So I stopped writing.

And that is where I have been.

But the new year is coming and I am feeling fresh and full of hope again. I am going to go back to my blog plan and make each day interesting again. I will still follow Occupy Boston and be a part of it in my own way - but not at the expense of my health or things I hold dear to my heart.

So back to our regular programing - Observations of a Crazy World!

Dear Mr. President ... we are the 99%

2011-10-01T14:29:00.001-04:00

While I can't speak for the entire Occupy Movement ..... this is what I see as the movements strengths, and this is why I participate. The letter is addressed to "Mr. President" but only because this is a poem and "Dear broken & ineffective government and corporations that have destroyed our nation" just did not flow the same.

Dear Mr. President,

We are the 99% of America that you have failed.

We are men and women,
Young and old and middle aged.

We are Democrats, Republicans and Independents,
Socialists, Communists. Tea Party members and Anarchists

We are red states and blue states,

Massachusetts to California and every state in between.

We are the upper class, the middle class and the poverty stricken.

Citizens, immigrants and those seeking a home.

We are the 99% Mr. President, do you hear us?

We are Catholics, Protestants, Baptists and Jews,
Muslims and Atheists and Buddhists.

We are straight and gay, lesbian and transgendered,
Soccer moms and stay at home dads.
We live on $7.25 an hour, and 401Ks and spare change and fixed incomes,
Balance our budgets, live week-to-week and drown in debt.

We are carnivores, omnivores, herbivores and vegans,

The well fed and the starving and the farmers.

We are the 99% Mr. President and we have found our voice.

We are the healthy and sick and uninsured,
The mentally ill and differently abled.

We are the strong, and the weak and the bullied,
The outspoken and the ignored.

We are Black, Hispanic, Native, Arab and Asian,
Legal and illegal and white.

We are optimists, pessimists, and disenfranchised,
College educated, undereducated, college drop outs and illiterate.

We are the 99% Mr. President, we love our country and we want it back.

We are veterans and teachers and doctors and lawyers.

The employed, the unemployed, the underemployed,and the self-employed.

We are on social security, medicaid, welfare and unemployment,
Entrepreneurs, small business owners and volunteers in our communities.
We are homeowners and the foreclosed upon

Families living in suburbia and on the streets.

We are creative and artistic, crunch numbers and cure disease,
We are the people.

We are the 99% Mr. President and we are waiting for you.

To acknowledge our voice and send us the support,

You sent Tunisia, Egypt and Libya.

To let the Supreme Court know,

Corporations are not people.

To tell the banks that are too big to fail,

That they are on their own.

To let the Congress know their responsibility is their constituents,

Not getting funding for the next election.

To tell the lobbyists they can no longer purchase our government,

Because it is not for sale.

We are the 99% Mr. President and you have failed us.

We love our country and we want it back.

We want a future of hope for our children.

We want the change you promised us.

We want equity and justice.

We want transparency and accountability.

These are not demands,

They are our Constitutional rights,

Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness!

We are the 99% Mr. President,

And if you can't hear us,

We can turn it up!

Occupy Boston .... I am a Patriot

2011-09-28T08:12:00.000-04:00

I would like to start today by noting I have never gone to a protest, I have never been part of a revolution. I do not know the customs, the language or the process of organizing. But this evening I dipped my toe into the pool that is the "Occupy Movement." I was impressed by the number of people that were there. A few hundred I think. I was also very aware that I suddenly felt old. And for a few minutes I thought that I should just go home, hang with the kids and protest from the comfort of my couch. But I decided to stay and I listened.

This lack of knowledge may have led to my feeling of frustration for the first 30 minutes or so .... I didn't understand the language or the gestures. Being who I am I couldn't understand what I saw as a lack of organization. I couldn't understand why people were not listening. Fortunately my impression ended on a better note than it started.

The meeting this evening was to organize and plan what "Occupy Boston" is going to look like .... all details that people do not think about when they watch people chanting and protesting on the news ..... the where & when & how ...... food, shelter, entertainment, etc. But people kept talking about why they were there. Evictions, the execution of Troy Davis, sustainable farming, the evils of the banking system (specifically Bank of America), homelessness, unemployment .... it was like people had been so silent for so long that they wanted to be heard no matter what. It would have gone on for hours I think were it not for the one person who stated simply ..... I think we know why we are all here lets work on how to change it (this is a bad paraphrase but I wasn't taking notes).

And as I sat there watching people struggle to get organized, struggle to be heard, struggle to understand I thought to myself this is what it must have been like to organize the Revolution, this is what it must have been like when the Constitution was written:

Chronicle of Revolution

A New Nation 1784-1790

Proceedings of the First Continental Congress

Chronology of the Declaration of Independence

I know most of us are aware of these things, but I think sometimes it is good to look back and reflect. The 99% are the new patriots, charting new territory, trying to fix the problems. There will be egos, there will be people who just want to vent, there will be people who are frustrated with the process ... we are going too fast, we are going too slow, we have no message, we have too many messages. But that is ok .... that is how change happens. So while I am sure the founding fathers did not wave their hands in approval of something or use the human microphone to be heard, I am also sure that there were days they thought is this worth it and why am I here. I am grateful that they stuck it out and I am hopeful this movement will as well.

I read a book years ago by Walter Cronkit "A Reporter's Life." He said during the Vietnam protests "How can patriotism be determined anyway? Is patriotism simply agreeing unquestioningly with every action of one's government? Or might we define patriotism as having the courage to speak and act on those principles one thinks are best for the country, whether they are in accordance with the wishes of the government or not? It is everyone's duty to obey the laws of the land, but I think your definition of patriotism, Mr. Secretary, would preclude our listening to and reporting upon the opinions of those who believe your policies are inimical to the best interests of our nation. Perhaps these dissidents are the patriotic ones. At least they have the right to believe that their love of country is as sincere as yours, and that they have the right under our Constitution to speak their beliefs. And it is no breach of patriotism when we report on their half of a historic dialogue."

We broke into groups and that was where the real work started. That was where people really pulled together their expertise and got down to business. I choose to attend the media group (I know you're surprised). It is going to be tough work but it will be worth it. Only history can tell us what this movement will end up as. I am hoping that my children will read in their history books that this movement changed the way we view our fellow Americans, the way our government works and the way our communities thrive. I spoke with a man last night who said he came out because this was something new ..... the idea that the "occupations" are occurring all over the country, the feeling of belonging to something bigger than ourselves. And really that is why I am here ..... because the 99% of the country who does not have a voice should have a chance to be heard and be part of the process.

So, even if you can't come to the protests you can still be a part of the process. Be involved. Silence is the voice of complicity .... don't be silent, be heard!

Occupy Boston on Facebook

Occupy Boston on the web

@occupy_boston

The Occupation Continues .... the media coverage does not

2011-09-26T22:55:00.003-04:00

Occupy Wallstreet ... for What?

Does Anyone Care About Occupy Wall Street?

Well I care - but I can see their point. I have been waiting patiently for the United States to follow the lead of the Arab Spring. In a country where we are allowed to voice our opinions we have been decidedly silent as the communities we live in fall apart around our ears.

https://www.facebook.com/#!/OccupyTogether

But even with all this excitement one of the problems for the Occupy Wall Street movement is that there are so many problems to deal with right now: Unemployment, the purchasing of political seats, tax loopholes for the rich, the environment, women's reproductive rights, lack of education funding, disparity of wealth, healthcare, social security, medicare/medicaid, campaign finance, the electoral college. And these are just the complaints I have seen aired on facebook and blogs during lunch. If you jumble all this together into a series of chants and video clips the essential message of something needs to change gets lost. And all the establishment (which includes mainstream media) hears is blah blah blah .... whine whine whine ..... these people are insignificant because they can't organize. It is time to prove then wrong. I read someone's comment on facebook and they said basically worry about getting people there and the message will come. As more and more groups want to be part of "the movement" it will be harder and harder to create the clear message.

The message will get lost in terms like hippies, anarchy and more focus will be put on the NYPD and less on the protesters themselves ..... if it gets covered at all.

On the otherhand, you have the article from The Indypendent which states

"An on-the-ground view of Liberty Plaza clearly affirms why many more should actively support this project’s growing significance. Soon after thousands peacefully set up camp in Zucotti Square (since re-named Liberty Plaza) at the corner of Broadway and Liberty on Sept 17, the assembly’s various workgroups coordinated food, clean-up, bedding, student/labor networking, media/online and community outreach, legal support, childcare, arts/culture/festivities, and more. The on-site OccupyWallSt.org broadcasts daily statements that address the square’s purpose, goals, and concerns, which much media coverage chooses to ignore. All group decisions are made in the assemblies, with constant attention to historically under-represented voices, ongoing political education, and yes, good vibes."

Or the piece from today's Huffington Post

" To say that the demonstrators are only hippies and radicals pining for 1968 would be a gross misstatement. Rather, the demonstrators come from diverse backgrounds: environmentalists, feminists, former and current Wall Street bankers, traders and brokers, anarchists, socialists, members of the LGBTQ community, teachers, students, Republicans, Democrats, libertarians, people of color, Christians, Jews, Muslims, Atheists, retired NYPD police officers, members of the FDNY, journalists, musicians, photographers...the list could go on and on. Yet, the one thing that this varied group of people has in common is that they are tired of government corruption and the privileging of corporations and the wealthiest 1 percent of Americans by the American government.

And that is a pretty clear and concise message. One that is being adopted by "Occupy" groups all over the country (there is even an "Occupy Facebook" group on Facebook). But I do understand how the media can get confused when there is a jumble of messages such as these: Signs of Wall Street. It is good, however, that Michael Moore set the record straight!

So remember .... stay peaceful, stay focused, stay strong!

Photo Gallery - Occupy Wall Street

Protesters Plan to Occupy Boston

First Boston General Assembly - 9/27/11 - 7:30 pm - Boston Common Gazebo

So, when people ask what is the message? And when people ask why should we care about Occupy Wall Street? Show them this video and the message should be loud and clear!!!!

Occupy Wall Street ..... pass it on .... and on ..... and on!

2011-09-25T23:16:00.000-04:00

I know I already posted a blog today but I had to write again because I am appalled at the US media coverage of the protests in New York.

What protests you might ask? That was my question when my step-daughter posted this link on her Facebook page this evening: Livestream: Global Revolution. I shook my head and thought what the heck is this. In case people hadn't noticed, current events and politics are kind of my hobby. I subscribe to several newsfeeds on Facebook, listen to NPR daily on the radio, follow CNN and BBC blogs so the fact that I didn't know anything about this made me think it probably was a hoax. So, like most people who have no idea what is happening, I Googled it.

The first thing that popped up was an article from the Wall Street Journal - Social Media March on Wall Street, which was posted about 3 hours ago and in essence calls the protests an epic fail. But then I searched further.

occupywallst.org

The protests started on September 17th and according to the Occupy Wall St. webpage consist of the 99% tired of being led by the 1%. I have read that it is being referred to as the nonviolent American Fall. They have protests in New York planned through 2012 everyday from 1-3 and 7-9 at Zuccotti Square (AKA now Liberty Square). It also says they will be planning protests in other places, including the protests planned for October 6, 2011 in Washington D.C.

When I searched news coverage for the events that have taken place I got 4 pages of American mainstream media, with no real coverage until September 23, 2011. I did find this one article from September 6, 2011 at Market Watch. But I really wouldn't call this mainstream. The earliest mainstream American coverage was from September 23rd, 6 days after the protests started.

I have been reading for a couple of hours now and have found some interesting articles that I had missed from the Huffington Post and The Guardian:

Occupy Wall Street Enters Its Fourth Day

"Occupy Wall Street" Protesters Vow to Camp Near Wall Street Indefinitely

Keith Olbermann, Michael Moore Criticize Media for Ignoring "Occupy Wall Street"

Occupy Wall Street Rediscovers the Radical Imagination

Occupy Wall Street: Protesters Speak

The Call to Occupy Wall Street Resonates Around the World

Al Jazeera was covering the protests before ABC, CBS, NBC, and CNN - US Protesters Rally to Occupy Wall Street.

This is insane to me! Unlike London, these protests are nonviolent. People are not looting stores or roughing people up. I liked the point in the Keith Olbermann piece about the fact that if this were 100 tea party members supporting Wall Street it would be everywhere. It took a week, but now it is everywhere and people are angrier - not only about the mess this country is in, but about the lack of respect people who want to change things get.

Now the videos are everywhere - a search for news about it has gone from 4 pages to 10 in the past hour! Protesters Broadcast Arrests on Social Media. The number of those arrested have been anywhere from 80 on NPR to as many as 200. Reports of tear gas have been retracted, but the video of a woman being sprayed with pepper spray is all over the Internet.

Someone on the group's Facebook page is suggesting a national "don't go to work" day on October 5th. The idea is for noone to go to work, or purchases anything for one day. I think it is a great idea if they can get organized and get enough people to do it to make a point! The problem is, all the people who work on Wall Street won't participate in a protest like this ..... but maybe, just maybe you could still get enough people to do it to make it work!!!

http://www.thetechherald.com/

I guess the point of this blog is to spread the word!! If the media isn't going to get the message out than we need to. If the Teaparty can take control of Washington in less than a year ..... we need to let Washington know that there is another voice! If Facebook can be covered with useless rumors about it starting to charge a fee - this should spread like wildfire!!!

As they said in Tienaman Square in 1989 .... take pictures, take video, let the world know what is happening here!!! The 1st Amendment is our strongest weapon ..... it is time it is used!!!!

Good Luck Wall Street ..... I think you are going to need it!

Ten Day Blog Challenge - In one day!

2011-09-25T19:05:00.000-04:00

I found this 10-day blog challenge over at Spilled Milkshake and thought it might be fun. But then I remembered both the 30-day Blog Challenge and my attention span these days so I thought, wouldn't it be just as fun to do the challenge all in 1 day!

So, here I go ..........

Ten Secrets:

This is a tough one .... the reason things are a secret is because you do not want people to know them. On top of that I am not really a secret keeper ..... I am more of a what you see is what you get kind of gal! But here it goes.

I hate to admit it but I love the puppy! I did not want a dog, I always considered myself a cat person. But I love the dog! I love that she follows me around the house and sits at the end of my bed on the floor (she is not allowed on the bed, that is a puppy free zone). My husband on the other hand, who wanted the dog in the first place is no longer so enamored with the dog. Funny how things work out.
I also hate to admit that my parents were right ..... about what is not important because there were so many things I did not agree with as a child (a teenager in particular). But looking back they were right about an awful lot.
Some days I don't want to be a mom! I think we all go through it, where you think to yourself "if I have to go to one more (PTA meeting, soccer game, parent/teacher meeting .... you fill in the blank) I am going to drive off a bridge." We are not really allowed to talk about the fact that although we love our children, there are just days we don't like them and would rather be on the beach by ourselves reading a good book instead of packing lunches and wiping noses.
I can't balance my checkbook. I never have been able to master that art. Online banking is my best friend because I can check it everyday and make sure I haven't screwed it up. I pay a lot fewer overdraft fees now.
I am a hoarder. not like the Hoarders on TV. But I collect things ..... glass, craft supplies, holiday decorations, just stuff. What makes me different from the people on TV is eventually I get sick of looking at the piles in the corners of the house and I clean them out.
I have a really low self-esteem. On the outside I look like I've got it all together, but in reality I am convinced that people are going to find out that I am a fraud.
I am a hopeless romantic. Most people wouldn't think that about me, but I am.
I hate dressing up - especially for work. I am a jeans & tee-shirt kind of gal. I hate matching shoes to an outfit and I can't match a shirt color to a skirt unless I have them next to each other. My husband is convinced I have a touch of the color blindness.
I am exhausted and can't do it all! This is a tough one to put in writing ..... then it becomes real. But I really can't do it all anymore. I think that is the greatest myths that came out of the women's movement, that we can have it all. Something has got to give .... for me it is usually housework!
I like The Fresh Beat Band. Parents of young children will know what I am talking about and probably cringe! But I actually like the show and find myself watching it even in the 5-year-old is not in the room. Scary I know. I am not sure if I will continue to like it because I like the old Marina, we will have to see.

Nine Loves:

I assume this is a combination of people and things I love and not a list of ex-boyfriends. :)

My children
My husband
My parents
Autumn weekends - crunchy leaves, pumpkins, Halloween, apples, all of it!
Coffee in the morning - when everyone else is still asleep
Chocolate fudge
Music - see my previous post
A white Christmas (followed by a really fast thaw ..... which never happens)
The White Mountains

Eight Fears:

I will have to think of this one ..... there are a lot of things that I find disturbing and I would like to avoid, but I am not afraid of much.

I have an irrational fear of driving
I am afraid of dying a painful slow death. I am not afraid of dying - I would just prefer it happen quietly in my sleep.
My children being in pain - especially when I read stories of children who die suddenly playing sports, or when my youngest was born way too early.
I guess in a lot of ways I am afraid of losing my lifestyle. We are not wealthy - by any stretch of the imagination - but we are ok. With the economy I get nervous that we won't make ends meet.
I am not a fan of heights - not in a building, but looking over the edge of a mountain for instance. My husband was a steeplejack and he brought me to a job sight one day. I climbed about a quarter of the way up the staging on the outside of the church steeple and I had enough. If I had no choice but to climb the rest of the way for some reason I could have - I just don't think it is something I would enjoy.
Wow - this is harder than I thought ..... I think I am afraid that I won't be able to finish this one! Ha Ha!
Failure - I am really afraid of that.
I do worry that I am not a good mother and I have not done well by my kids. But I think this is a fear all moms (who care about their children) have.

Seven Wants:

This one is really hard too. Whenever I start making lists of things I want it almost feels like I am being ungrateful for all the things I have (for which I am eternally grateful). But if I could have anything in the world this is what it would be:

A cure for lupus (and every other chronic disease out there).
An end to hunger (this one should be easy if people didn't always look out for themselves).
For my children to find their place in the world and live a happy life.
Financial stability so that I knew when I retire I won't be a burden on either the government or my kids.
The ability to travel where ever I want whenever I want (Greece, England, China, Hawaii, Alaska - just to name a few).
A huge - foodnet work chef like - kitchen
A bathroom with a jacuzzi

Six Places:

This one is easy!!!!!

Greece
England
China
Alaska
Hawaii
Egypt

OK - so maybe this wasn't so easy because I just wanted to keep going .....

Five Foods

Another one that is easy to start .... but difficult to stop, I do love food!

Coffee (does caffeine count as a food group?)
Chocolate fudge (not with walnuts or other stuff .... just chocolate)
Nutella - it is almost like chocolate fudge, but you can convince yourself it is good for you.
Pulled pork sandwiches
Asparagus

Four Books:

I covered this one in the 30-day blog as well but now I get to add one!

Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
Wild Swans: three daughters of china - Jung Chang
Delores Claiborne/Gerald's Game - Stephen King
The Alienist - Caleb Carr (I have read other things by him that I did not like as much - but this one is kind of like Sherlock Holmes meets CSI)

Three Movies:

Silence of the Lambs
Pride and Prejudice (the one with Colin Firth)
Love Actually

Two Songs:

NOT POSSIBLE!!!! I wrote a whole blog about that the other day!

If I have to pick two ........

I Dreamed a Dream from Les Miserables (the one from the 10th Anniversary Concert with Ruth Henshall as Fantine)
Amazed By You - Lonestar. This was my wedding song. I had no idea what my husband picked for the song until it was time for us to dance ..... it was his one job or the wedding.

One Photo:

This is supposed to be a photo of me. I made a decision when I started this blog that I would still have some anonymity. While I share a lot about myself you will notice I never use my husband's name or my kids and there are no photos of them or me. I am going to stick with that rule! But I have attached a photo of one of my favorite places to be ..... the beach! This is a photo of me .... cool, crazy, complex, hard working, mysterious, complicated, calm, ferocious and with endless depths!

For the love of music ......

2011-09-25T00:05:00.000-04:00

I was reading a post from my friend Tony over at Home Thoughts and he was talking about a British radio show called "Desert Island Discs" where celebrities have to choose 8 songs they would bring with them on a desert island. These are not your favorite songs - just ones that are important memories so that the people can use them to discuss their lives. I have tried with all my might to come up with only 8 songs! It is impossible! Music has always been such an important part of my life from the time I can remember. When I could not find the words, music always did, it has always been my best friend and brings back memories in the way that a photo or a particular scent can. How can I narrow my life to eight memories?

I thought that I would just pick the first songs that came into my head .... those obviously are the most important right? I came up with 20 without even thinking. And then once I read that list I came up with 20 more. I obviously would not be a good choice for this radio show, but for a blog on the other hand, a list of songs that made an impact on my life may not be such a bad idea!

The Gambler - Kenny Rogers

"On a warm summer evening

on a train bound for nowhere

I met up with a gambler

we were both too tired to sleep....."

My Yia-Yai was not a great fan of modern music, she liked Big Band and Greek music. She did have her favorites:Elvis, The Beatles, Englebert Humperdinck, The Rat Pack and Kenny Rogers. She had a great old record player that was really a piece of furniture. You could put the albums in it and it had a radio that I don't remember ever working. But I remember as a kid playing Kenny Rogers greatest hits over and over - in particular the Gambler. Not exactly the most appropriate song for a 5-year-old to be running around singing - but I did, over and over again!

Beethovan - Fur Elise

Fur Elise reminds me of my mom in so many ways! She was a music teacher & this was one of her favorite pieces when she was a child. My Yia-Yia had a piano in her livingroom & my mom and I would play this song. I took piano lessons for a few years, but I never got the hang of reading music. I learned this song from watching my mom play! Yia-Yia's piano is now at my mom's house and while I have not played in many many years, I can still sit down and play the opening bars of this one song!

http://www.dorisday.com/

Que Sera Sera - Doris Day

"When I was just a little girl

I asked my mother what will I be?

Will I be pretty? Will I be rich?

Here's what she said to me ....."

This is another song that reminds me of my mom. When I got my first record player, I had no records. It was a plastic little thing and after a time it was used so much I would have to tape a quarter on the needle so the records didn't skip. But when I first got it I had no records. So, my mom gave me one of her old 45s, and it was Doris Day. I played it over and over. The record player was great because I could carry it around the house with me, plug it in and listen to Doris all over the house! I am sure my mother was thrilled! But she would never tell me "what will be will be" she told me I would be pretty and I would be rich and I would have rainbows ................. well, she was right about the rainbows!

The next three are important to me because I loved them as a child and I have shared them with my children. I don't think I am tone-deaf, but I will never win American Idol. And yet both of my children loved for me to sing them lullabies. The three that I sing over and over are the ones that bring back happy memories of my childhood, back when watching movies on television was a big deal, involving staying up late and popcorn because they were only on once or twice a year, so if you missed it you had to wait a whole year to see it again.

Somewhere over the Rainbow - Judy Garland

"Some day I'll wish upon a star

And wake up where the clouds are far behind me.

Where troubles melt like lemon drops.

Oh way above the chimney tops

That's where you'll find me."

My Favorite Things - Julie Andrews

"Cream colored ponies and crisp apple strudels

Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles

Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings

These are a few of my favorite things."

The Rainbow Connection - Kermit the Frog

Why are there so many songs about rainbows and what's on the other side?

Rainbows are visions, but only illusions, and rainbows have nothing to hide.

So we've been told and some choose to believe it. I know they're wrong, wait and see.

Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection.

The lovers, the dreamers and me.

The next two just give me warm fuzzy feelings about my childhood. I remember getting dressed up and performing for my mom. She loved Barbara and Olivia and we would play these songs over and over. On the record players you could move the arm to the right and it would play the same album or single over and over (for those of you who have never seen a record player, it would be similar to the repeat mode on your ipod). When we would clean the house or just hang out one of these two women would be singing in the background. So, for this exercise I picked my favorites from these albums, obviously there are many more albums and songs to choose from, but when I thought of them these are the ones whose lyrics I remembered instantly!

Please Mister Please - Olivia Newton-John

"Please Mister Please

Don't play B17

It was our song, it was his song but it's over

Please Mister Please

If you know what I mean

I don't ever want to hear that song again."

Evergreen - Barbara Streisand

"Love, soft as an easy chair;

Love, fresh as the morning air,

One love that is shared by two,

I have found with you."

So, those are the eight songs I came up with that remind me of my early childhood. Songs that bring happy memories - though sometime melancholy. I will continue this project another time. For I still have preteen, adolescence, early adulthood and today to go through.

Family Friday ........

2011-09-23T21:09:00.003-04:00

I want to share an article I think everyone should read. It is by LZ Granderson who writes an opinion column for CNN. He has the most amazing view on not only society, racism and family, but he tells it like it is - you may not always agree with him or like what he has to say - but you always have to give him credit for putting it out there. He is one of the writers I aspire to.

This particular column touched me - because we are all guilty!

9/6/11 Grand Rapids, Michigan (CNN) --

Today my heart weeps for Jocelyn and Gary Leonard.

It's the first day of school here in Michigan, and I know the Fennville couple are struggling to make it through.

You see, their son Wes was the young man who died of a heart attack just moments after hitting the game-winning shot for his high school basketball team in March. The manner in which Wes died captured the nation's attention, and I helped cover the story for ESPN.

Six months later, their pain still brings tears to my eyes.

I can't imagine what it would be like to be sitting in the stands, unaware that you are watching your son's last moments on Earth. Or what it would be like to have your son collapse in front of you and slowly slip away.

Wes should be starting his senior year.

Instead his family, his friends, his small town are left to mourn.

I've worked as a journalist for more than 15 years and have covered a fair share of stories involving unexplained, unfair tragedies -- like what happened to the Leonards -- and it never gets easier.

Just last month, I interviewed Charles Williams of Arkadelphia, Arkansas, who dropped his 15-year-old son, Montel, off for football practice and never saw him alive again.

Like Wes, Montel collapsed and died of an undiagnosed heart ailment.

"I didn't tell him I loved him or hugged him or anything," Charles said. "Now I won't ever get that chance again."

Sadly I hear some element of that phrase over and over again from mourners reflecting on words left unsaid, gestures not made. And even though we all understand in our heads that tomorrow is not guaranteed, it is so hard to live a life that illustrates that understanding in our hearts.

Over the next several days, our nation will spend a significant amount of time looking back at the morning of September 11, 2001, and how much that event changed us.

We will analyze the war on terror and relive accounts of that day from first responders.

Celebrities will talk about where they were when the towers were struck, experts will look at what we need to do to shore up our security and pundits will pontificate on whether the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan have really made us safer.

Undoubtedly, there will be moments in which it will feel like overkill, and I'm sure some of it will be. But I believe these are important stories to cover, important questions of morality to ask.

However in the midst of this 9/11 media avalanche, we should be careful not to overlook the most important lesson from the attack, and that is not to take life for granted. You never know which day is your last.

Hug your children.

Hold your spouse's hand.

Call your mother.

Simple gestures really, but I can tell you from experience that no matter how big or small the tragedy is, these simple gestures are what people in mourning want most -- one more phone call, a shared laugh, a kiss on the cheek.

To the cynic, this kind of talk is considered light and fluffy. But as someone who knows what it's like to hear the sobs of a father who had lost his only child the day before, there is nothing light or fluffy about a grieving heart.

As a nation, we can drive ourselves crazy this week obsessing over the events leading up to and immediately following 9/11.

We can take all of the precautions money and our military arsenal can buy in an effort to insulate ourselves from a world that seems to be filled with economic struggle and violent turmoil. But the reality is that death is a part of life no one can control. But we can say "I love you" to someone we care about pretty much whenever we want.

That may not seem like much, until it's the first day of school and you realize parents like the Leonards don't have that chance.

I'm not trying to be judgmental -- I certainly am guilty of taking life for granted as well -- but my hope is that for each moment we are reminded of the lives that were lost 10 years ago at the World Trade Center, the Pentagon and on United Flight 93, we take a moment to embrace the lives that are still here.

That we embrace the life that each of us are still fortunate enough to have.

The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of LZ Granderson.

http://www.adamfishercox.com/calvinandhobbes/history.html

So that is my blog for today .... I need to go make my husband tea because he is not feeling well, go kiss the little one on the head as he sleeps, and give the teenager a hug whether he wants one or not. While I am at it, I think I will call my mom!

Jobs Bill, Warren Buffet & Walmart.....Oh My!

2011-09-22T22:51:00.000-04:00

I started writing this blog in the car on the way to work this morning, listening to my morning news (wish I had time to sit down the the paper and a coffee, but I generally pick another half hour of sleep over that). It was another interesting day of news. So, I picked three stories I would like to share.

The first is the American Jobs Act. I have not had a chance to read all the text yet and I admit I am getting most of my information at this point from President Obama's Speech and White House Fact Sheet and the news: Construction good for the economy & psyche, Boehner's Response to the Jobs Bill and so on.

So basically what I have gotten from all of this is that the President wants to pass another stimulus package (but we can't call it that anymore). But unlike the 2008 stimulus package that President Bush passed, this one actually seems well thought out and there are provisions in it that may actually stimulate the economy and start to rebuild America (I especially like section 4 of the Jobs Act which relates to states only being allowed to use American iron, steel and manufactured goods when doing public construction jobs), while investing not only in the infrastructure of the country but also the education of our children. Again, I have not read all the details, but what I have read I like. I am saddened by the fact that the Jobs bill will not pass (I know - so why am I reading it? Well, I am just a geek like that). The Republicans can't allow it to pass. If this bill passes and the economy rebounds, they have lost the White House in 2012. Starting in 2010 when Mitch McConnell stated that his top priority is to deny President Obama a second term, Washington has been at a stalemate and nothing has gotten done. But when even Republican Mayors are saying this bill may have some promise - being the party of no may just blow up in their faces.

Which leads me to my next fun fact/observation. In a news report I heard the other day it was stated that 1% of Americans make a million dollars and would fall under the proposed Buffett Rule based on the Op-ed piece that Warren Buffett sent to the New York Times. You will notice that the first link tries to explain why both Warren Buffett and President Obama are incorrect. I will admit I am not an expert on taxes and I really don't understand the difference between an effective rate, an average rate or a marginal rate; and I certainly can't understand why some people pay a 15% tax rate on some of their income and 31% on other parts of their income. But what I do find interesting is that while only 1% of the American public fall in the Buffett rule category, 46% of Congress (139 Republicans and 106 Democrats) fall into this category.

So, my question is: are the Republicans (and the Democrats who are not supporting the bill) digging in their heels because the Buffett Rule would hinder job growth (as John Boehner states) or is it because raising taxes on the wealthy hits too close to home? Is it because it is unfair to the majority of the American people, or is it unfair to the donors of their election campaigns?

So what does all this have to do with Walmart (believe it or not there is a connection). The report I heard today was about the reaction of Mayor Menino, local businesses and consumers to building a Walmart in Boston. Walmart gets a bad rap around America: Why Walmart Does Not Help the Economy, The Walmart Debate and my all time favorite the Lord Waldemart series produced by the Harry Potter Alliance. And while the lawsuits and empty main streets tell a bleak picture, I think people are missing the point. Much in the way that the American Jobs Act includes a component of "made in America," communities across the country need to invest in "made in my community." The WBUR story puts it well - why should we put money in the pockets of people who are not going to spend it in our community? Why should we "import" products from a company housed in another state when we can invest in distributors and such in our own community? And that is the basic problem with our current definition of capitalism today.

When capitalism was "invented" (for lack of a better word), businesses were owner run, which meant the owners lived in the community they served. Therefore they had a vested interest in contributing to the community - they spent their profits in the community, they invested in other businesses in the community, they created jobs in their community (if people work they spend money). The health of the community you did business in had a direct impact on your profits and so you cared. Managerial Capitalism and the resulting multinational corporations destroyed that role of business - they still seek the profit of capitalism but have lost the point that the profit is supposed to go back into the community.

Does this mean that Ford can't do business in China? No, but if a car company is going to do business in China - they should purchase parts for cars sold in China, in China and they should purchase parts for cars sold in America, in America. If Walmart is going to profit off the people of Boston, they should build up the economic stability of Boston. If we returned to the small town capitalism way of doing business we would not need the American Jobs Act. If we were the strong self-sufficient country we were prior the "greed is good" generation business would understand that they need the consumer to survive and consumers would understand that we need successful businesses to survive.

Those are my observations for today ..... until tomorrow: Good Night and Good Luck!

Wordless Wednesday

2011-09-21T13:58:00.001-04:00

Maybe if I organize the blog ..... I can organize life!

2011-09-20T07:58:00.000-04:00

So, here I am. 7:00 am at the office prepping for class (oh wait, I am writing a blog). But that is me. Organized on paper, not so good in practice. One of the things I blogged about last time was the "lupus fog." It is that feeling you get when you walk into a room and can't remember why you are there ..... but I get it all the time. So there are lots of lists and notes in my life. The problem is I usually forget to read them. So, I like to have things neatly ordered. Which is why this blog can be so frustrating while at the same time cathartic. There are so many ideas for good blogs running through my head I don't know which one to write about first. On my way to work this morning I figured out if I had a topic to write about on a particular day it would help me focus. So here is my plan:

Medical Monday - there are lots of cool things that happen in the medical world, and some not so cool things. On Mondays I will investigate.
Literature Tuesday - I love to read and I enjoy writing. So on Tuesdays I will share some passages I love and maybe share some of my own work.
Wordless Wednesday - I explained this one last Wednesday
Thoughtful Thursday - this is my spot for current events (usually political). It is helpful if I just pick one event, or one thing going on in the world and talk about it.
Family Friday - this is not just my family ..... helpful hints, recipes, family living
Wacky Weekend - I can write about anything I want on the weekend

So, this is my plan. We will see how it works. If I have a plan here, maybe it will help me keep to my plans in my everyday life and tackle some of the to-do lists I have piling up!

Today is Literature Tuesday!

c/o http://www.wbur.org/

On the way to work this morning I was listening to readings from a new collection of poems by Shel Silverstein. I remember his work, it got me interested in poetry as a child and made me want to write my own.

Some of the poems are sad, and I didn't understand them as a child, I just liked the way the words rhyme. I liked the art and the way the poems flowed; to find out today that Shel Silverstein was a perfectionist about this sort of thing made me smile. But most of his poems are just silly. And so today I will share a few that make me smile and think.

EVERY THING ON IT

I asked for a hot dog

With everything on it,

And that was my big mistake.

'Cause it came with a parrot,

A bee in a bonnet,

A wristwatch, a wrench, and a rake.

It came with a goldfish,

A flag, and a fiddle.

A frog, and a front porch swing,

And a mouse in a mask -

That's the last time I ask

For a hot dog with everything.

Forgotten Language

Once I spoke the language of flowers,

Once I understood each word the caterpillar said,

Once I smiled in secret at the gossip of starlings,

And shared a conversation with the housefly

in my bed.

Once I hear and answered all the questions

of the crickets,

And jointed the crying of each falling dying

flake of snow,

Once I spoke the language of flowers . . . .

How did it go?

Whatif

Last night, while I lay thinking here,

some Whatifs crawled inside my ear

and pranced and partied all night long

and sang their same old Whatif song:

Whatif I'm dumb in school?

Whatif they've closed the swimming pool?

Whatif I get beat up?

Whatif there's poison in my cup?

Whatif I start to cry?

Whatif I get sick and die?

Whatif I flunk that test?

Whatif green hair grows on my chest?

Whatif nobody likes me?

Whatif a bolt of lightning strikes me?

Whatif I don't grow talle?

Whatif my head starts getting smaller?

Whatif the fish won't bite?

Whatif the wind tears up my kite?

Whatif they start a war?

Whatif my parents get divorced?

Whatif the bus is late?

Whatif my teeth don't grow in straight?

Whatif I tear my pants?

Whatif I never learn to dance?

Everything seems well, and then

the nighttime Whatifs strike again!

The Little Boy and the Old Man

Said the little boy, "Sometimes I drop my spoon."

Said the old man, "I do that too."

The little boy whispered, "I wet my pants."

"I do that too," laughed the little old man.

Said the little boy, "I often cry."

The old man nodded, "So do I."

"But worst of all," said the boy, "it seems

Grown-ups don't pay attention to me."

And he felt the warmth of a wrinkled old hand.

"I know what you mean," said the little old man.

Hard to put into words ......

2011-09-18T21:33:00.002-04:00

I have been trying for 3 days to write a blog about having lupus. That was after all part of the reason I started this blog. To talk about my life with lupus, to share ideas with other people who have lupus, and just have an outlet. I considered writing about the symptoms, or sharing an interactive tutorial from the National Institute for Health, or giving people a symptom checklist and some helpful hints about how to get ready for a doctor's appointment if you think you may have lupus. But somehow all these resources seemed lacking. How does one explain to people what it is like to live in a body you are allergic to? So, not being able to complete this blog in three days seemed like to perfect way to explain it.

Having lupus is a lot about having good intentions & learning your limitations.

It is about knowing when you have the straw in your hand, before it breaks the camels back.
It is about scheduling .... & then rescheduling.
It is a constant learning experience, when you get a new symptom you haven't had before.
It is about trying to break through the lupus fog and see some light
It is about education without sounding like you want sympathy (because the last thing you want is more sympathy)
It is about realizing you have no control
It is about learning to give in (and realizing you are not a failure because you did)
It is about loving everyday that you feel ok
It is about not feeling horrible about the days that you don't
It is about asking for help with things you never thought about before
It is about compromise and sacrifice (not only for you, but those around you)
It is about accepting that your hair can be your worst enemy
It is about living with fear in the back of your mind - while you know lupus is generally not fatal, there is always the risk
It is about accepting loss - of the person you used to be and the things you used to be able to do
It is about accepting the new you and embracing it
It is about accepting compliments on your rosy cheeks - knowing that if they are that red things are about to hit the fan
It is about listening to your body when you want to go go go
It is about being able to have a good cry and move on
It is about not allowing your bedroom to be your prison
It is about hoping your better half doesn't tire of the emotional ups and downs you can't control
It is about the words remission and flare being a permanent part of your vocabulary

In case you haven't guessed this weekend was one of being angry at my body for not allowing me to live the life I would like without having to deal with the consequences. I did manage to get to all the kids stuff this weekend .... but had to miss a birthday party for a friend's 2-year-old. Friday I was in bed by 8:00 pm, Saturday I was in bed by 7:00 pm and this evening I am resting in my room because I have to work tomorrow and need all the rest I can get. In between the soccer games, food shopping and what not, there were a lot of tears of frustration.

So what is my advice to people with lupus .... I have none, I am really not very good at having a chronic disease. I do not listen to my body when I should .... instead I wait until it has to shout at me. So, this is my lupus blog ... I will probably write more after a weekend of being annoyed with the "L" word.

Tomorrow is another day, another adventure, another balancing act!

GT4VM5CQK5KS

2011-09-16T20:47:00.002-04:00

GT4VM5CQK5KS
This is a test post for a blog list I am trying to get on. Thanks for the understanding!

Wordless Wednesday .......

2011-09-14T20:44:00.000-04:00

I have been searching blogs randomly again and I have seen "wordless Wednesday" on many of them. I wish I could give credit to the blog that started this trend but I have not been able to figure that out yet. So while this particular blog is not wordless I am sure in subsequent Wednesday blogs you will get the point.

Heroes can be found when you least expect it ........

2011-09-13T21:09:00.001-04:00

Brad is 12 years old and he is the son of my best friend from high school. I didn't get to see much of Brad when he was younger; my best friend and I hadn't spoken for about 10 years (give or take). We didn't have a big fight or a falling out ... I think we just sort of let life get in the way. But thanks to MySpace we found each other again and picked up like no time had passed at all.

The first time I had seen her after all this time was at my son's 2nd birthday party and she came with her children. Her son was 9 at the time and had just recently been diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes. She came with a backpack loaded with supplies, notebooks to write down what he ate and when, stuff to bring his sugar up and medication to bring it down, test strips and glucose tablets ..... just lots of stuff. She had told me about when they had realized he was sick. The scariness of finding your child in the middle of the night lethargic and talking gibberish ..... going to your hospital to have him rushed to another state to Boston's Children's Hospital ...... to finally getting him stable and getting the news that your child's life would never be the same. They got a very quick lesson in diabetes and my best friend was handed a needle and said here .... stick you son, it will keep him alive, here is some medication .... now head home and change your entire world.

I'm not sure what I expected when I met him. I was not prepared for the lively, smiling, active kid that I met. Not a complaint about haveing his finger pricked to have his blood checked, no whining about fixing his sugar levels. I am not sure what I expected, but what I got was a kid .... just your average, run-of-the-mill kid. I was amazed. At this point I had lived with my illness for about 2 years. I have always thought that a positive attitude was the best medicine. So I was convinced that this kid would grow up and find a cure for diabetes. He just seemed to accept all the horrors of this disease as inconveniences not worthy of much discussion or debate (I think that also has something to do with my best friend being a fabulous mom). And I have wondered often if I, as an adult, could go through this kind of life altering diagnosis and come out as unscathed on the other side.

To top it all off, this amazing kid asked his mom .... some six months after being diagnosed, if he could participate in a 3-mile walk to raise money for a cure. How could his mom refuse that! So, on the fly they created a team: Brad's Bruisers and they walked.

He is now 12-years-old and is still your run of the mill kid getting ready to be a teenager. He hangs out with friends, fights with his little sister, and occasionally talks back to his mom; just a normal kid. And he is getting ready to walk his 4th walk to find a cure. I hope that you will visit his page and give him a hand. I know that times are tough, but I also know that heroes are hard to come by and to find one in a 12-year-old boy needs to be rewarded! What better reward than helping them at best find a cure .... at the least find a way to make his life a little easier and more tolerable. Every dollar counts!

If you would like to find out more about JDRF or donate to Brad's team click HERE!

If you need more information about Type 1 Diabetes click HERE!

So, I was thinking about how I would write this blog on my drive home. And on the radio there was an interview with Roger Ebert of Siskel & Ebert fame. It is amazing how you can find a hero when you least expect it.

I have to admit, I never watched the show. While I enjoy movies, they never really were my life-blood if you know what I mean. listening to this story I am wishing I had watched him more often. He again is someone who has been struck by illness and just seems to embrace life more than most healthy people I know. He has battled several cancers and the devastating results of reconstructive surgeries that haven't worked. He can no longer speak, but continues to do the work he loves via blogs (you will notice I added it to my blogs of note), Twitter and voice recognition software. It is amazing how sometimes you can learn something about someone you have never given a second thought and all of a sudden you wish you could meet them and shake their hands.

Two heroes in one day .... funny how life works!

Being irrational ......... and American

2011-09-11T09:52:00.000-04:00

What scares you? There was a question like this in the 30-day blog but I found this list of phobias when I was searching something else and I was amazed at all the things people are afraid of and I started thinking about my most irrational fear and where it came from. Ironically it connects to the 10-year anniversary of 9/11 and a recent article I found on pledging allegiance to the American flag (funny how life works).

My most irrational fear is driving on the highway. I remember when I loved taking long drives to cool places. Twelve hours to Canada .... no problem. Back and forth to my parents house when I lived in New Hampshire ..... didn't give it a second thought. And then 9/11 happened. What does the attack on America have to do with my fear of driving on the highway, let me connect the dots.

September 11, 2001 was a gorgeous morning. I drove to the subway station, parked my car and jumped on the Blue Line to Boston. I had my headphones on, reading a book and then walked to my office. I remember walking in the door and saying something like "wow what a great day." My co-workers looked at me like I was insane and explained that one plane had hit the World Trade Center in New York. I don't think we realized as we stood there that two planes had actually flown into 2 of the towers. We tried to get on the CNN webpage to figure out exactly what had happened, but it wasn't working. Then a horrified radio announcer said a plane had flown into the Pentagon. I remember thinking ..... this is bad.

We went upstairs to watch the news in the Media Services office. The people jumping from the building were worse than any nightmare I could think of. I just sat silently crying ..... how awful could things be inside that building that the idea of jumping 80+ stories was your best option. And how long did those people live, what were they thinking? It was all unfolding live in front of us as we watched from the safety of our office. My next memory of that day is so vivid it still wakes me up in the middle of the night on occasion. We watched as rows New York police and firemen marched into the world trade center buildings. I don't know how many ..... anywhere from 25-100, the next image really skews my memory. I don't know how many minutes actually passed between those men & women entering the building and when the building collapsed it seemed like seconds. We were all silent in the room because we knew that all those people had just marched in to their deaths.

At that moment one of the security guards came into the office and told us there were rumors that they were going to shut down the subway system. I literally ran downstairs, grabbed my bag and headed out the door. I don't think I had ever wanted to get home to my family more than I had at that moment. The city was surreal. Boston is a noisy place ..... horns, sirens, people, planes. But on that morning there was a creepy silence. There was a great deal of traffic on the streets, but noone honked horns, the people all seemed to be walking in a daze, including myself. I got on the train and could not believe the silence - it was deafening. The traincar I was in was half-full. Noone had books out, or headphones on and we all just kind of looked at each other from time to time .... wanting to say something but not knowing what to say. I don't know about anyone else, but this was my first realization that as I had been trudging past Logan airport on the train on my way to work ..... the planes that caused this death and destruction were taking off. Now as I rode past the same airport it was eerily silent with not a plane in the sky.

I went to the Middle School my mother was teaching at first once I got off the train since it was on the way from the station to my son's school. There was a line of parents outside the building waiting to pick up their children. I found my mom sitting in the teacher's lounge with her cell phone, dialing and redialing my number since she had not been able to get service. Once I assured her I was ok I set off to get my son. My oldest was 7 at the time. I got to his school and spoke with the secretary. She said that the children had no idea what was going on and they had no plans to tell them. I decided that terrorists probably would not attach my small no name city and so I decided not to interrupt his day and I headed home.

I became obsessed with the news coverage. The reality of 24 hour news coverage was not good for a lot of people at this time and I was one of them. I watched at home, I watched at work, I hardly slept. Over and over again I watched those people jump, I watched those buildings fall. I watched funerals and speeches. I think I was just trying to make sense of it all. Work was a nightmare. We had just opened a Mosque and each day there was a bomb threat and we would have to evacuate, parents called all day wanting us to guarantee their children's safety, several countries revoked student visas and we had to get them home. And then there was the anthrax. I remember the Boston police coming in hazmat suits to check out white dust in the lobby ..... if I remember correctly it was a powdered donut.

Then there was the day that the news reported they had caught some of the terrorists responsible for planning the attacks at the Copley Plaza in Boston. There were rumors that the suspects were still in the hotel. I left the office and ran to the Copley - hoping to see what they looked like, these evil heartless, soulless people. As I made my way there I thought I would be the only one who needed this closure, but there were thousands of us. Some I am sure just had a morbid curiosity, but the most I think needed to put a face to the horror. Not a 2-dimensional face, but a real face. I waited for hours until someone finally came over and confirmed that they had taken the suspects out of the hotel another way and we should all leave. I realized I was going overboard when my son hid under his bed because he heard military planes flying over the house and I began only watching and listening to the news after he went to bed.

I began having panic attacks. First it was on the train. We had gotten stuck in the tunnel between stops once. I was convinced that there was some sort of chemical weapon in the air ducts and we were all going to die. As soon as the train got to the next stop I got off. I physically could not get back into the subway station. A co-worker had to get on the train with me and ride with me so I could get home. Long story short the attacks got worse. There was one day I walked 2 hours from the airport station to my car because I could not be on the train. And I started having them at other times .... during a Celtics game with my son, a friend's wedding in which I was the maid of honor, on a trip to Washington DC with my son in 2002, driving along the highway while my son and I were driving to New Hampshire to visit friends. Eventually I quit my job in Boston because I could no longer bring myself to get on the train.

It was crazy ..... a couple years went by and I was still having panic attacks and anxiety attacks. I saw a therapist and went on medication for awhile. And then I went to New York with my mom and my son. I visited Ground Zero and I got to say goodbye. I shook hands with the firemen that had to look at that hole in the ground and remember their friends who had walked into those buildings and never came out. I sat and stared for the longest time at the hole in the ground - and the cross made out of parts of the building. I grieved. When I got home I decided that was that .... no more medication and no more panic attacks. I forced myself to get back on the train ..... I forced myself to drive on the highway. I got a job back in Boston and made it work. Somehow out of all that panic and anxiety I have held on to the irrational fear of driving on the highway. I don't know why that is the one that has stuck with me. If it is necessary I can do it, but I am anxiety stricken and can't sleep for days if I know ahead of time. It doesn't change anything that logically I know it is irrational.

And then yesterday I saw this article posted on a friend's Facebook page: Brookline Political Action For Peace, Seeks School Pledge Of Allegiance Ban. It makes me sad that we are arguing about this. The American flag is a symbol of what this country has been through and in times of trouble we as a nation look to the flag to pull us together. I am also offended that the Boston Herald felt it was necessary to start their column this way "Peaceniks in leafy, lefty Brookline are trying to ban the Pledge of Allegiance from town schools." I consider myself a "peacenik" and I am certainly left but never would I refer to the Pledge of Allegiance as reminiscent of a horrific totalitarian regime. I was confused so I did a little research about my pledge and came up with this document and I began to see his point: US History - the Pledge of Allegiance and US Flag.org. I realized that I took my pledge for granted. I did not realize that it was not recognized by Congress until 1942 and that in 1943 the Supreme Court ruled that children could not be forced to recite it. I felt almost unAmerican because I really should know these things (I probably did at one point, but just forgot). As an adult I have always had a problem with the "Under God" part of the pledge, not because of my feelings toward God, but because the Founding Fathers were pretty specific when they separated "church and state."

Having learned all this do I think there should be a ban on the Pledge of Allegiance in schools ..... NO! People should love their country, even with all its faults. There are so many countries in which I could be arrested for writing this blog. There are so many countries where you have no choice as to whether or not you want to pledge. If there is a problem of children feeling singled out because of the standing - then maybe we should let children sit at their desk so it is not so obvious and they don't feel bad.

My five-year-old learned in school this week that two planes crashed into a building in New York and that people were killed. I have a problem with this - it is just information I don't think he needed to have at his age. He was scared. He has been pledging the flag since preschool and has never come home afraid. I do understand some on the conversation points that Marty Rosenthal makes regarding our country and the flag. But to remove the Pledge of Allegiance from the schools reduces conversation, reduces children's knowledge of their country (what would flag day be without the Pledge), and reduces patriotism. I am American and I am proud ...... I am proud of all that we are, I am proud of our mistakes, I am proud of how we have fixed those mistakes, and I am proud of what we can become if we could just come together and realize we all really just want the same things.

I posted on Facebook today that I do not like to remember 9/11. It is sad and scary ..... I like to remember 9/12, when the flags went up everywhere and we came together as a nation, forgot the politics, forgot the bickering and just supported each other. It didn't last long, but that is what I like to remember!

Remember when things were simple ........

2011-09-07T21:47:00.000-04:00

The past few weeks have been ridiculously crazy. Not just for me, but for the whole family ....

Teenager starting his Senior year and all that goes with it: advanced placement classes, Sr. pictures, varsity sports, college exams, new job, parent meetings, and the paperwork!
5-year-old starting kindergarten and all that goes with it: evaluations, packing lunches, strict bedtime, his homework (which he makes up but feels he needs to do it every night anyway), PTO meetings, and the paperwork!
Start of a new semester and all that goes with it: syllabi, advising, rosters, events, working late, and the paperwork!

But after a crazy day at work, discussions with undergraduate admissions for my son, a parent meeting for soccer, I came home to a sleeping child. I just looked at him and saw peace and it made me start to think about when life was simple. Not just simple in the sense that my mom took care of all the things I take care of now, while I sat back and just thought it all kind of happened. I mean simple.

I mean going back to a time when there were a total of 5 television channels to choose from.
A time when a child could go in the neighborhood at 8:00 am and find friends to play with until the street lights came on, stopping back home only to grab a sandwich or go the bathroom.
A time where being in the house was boring so that you went outside and made time machines out of trees (ok - maybe I am sharing too much, but that was one of my favorite games).
When a parent would be able to call their child home without a cell phone plan because the parents all knew each other (or in my case my dad would stand on the front porch and whistle. (Every kid in the neighborhood knew my dad's whistle and if I didn't hear it they would come and find me).
A time when gossip was only passed over the backyard fence ... not the entire world in a millisecond.
When the goal for a person was to make a difference - not get 15 minutes of fame on a reality show.
A time when people trusted not only in their government, but in the people next door and the person who owned the corner store.
An era where nobody cared what the name on the back of your jeans was or how much they cost. A time when people did not get killed for their "Air Jordans."
I remember when celebrities were people to look up to .... actresses, sports stars, politicians. If they behaved badly it was not celebrated (like Snookie being arrested for disorderly conduct, or Brittney Spears treatment of her children or any number of sports stars behaving badly)
A time when 3-year-olds could just be kids ..... not a tool for the fame their parents wanted and didn't get.

Just a time when life was simple. I have so many memories as a child that were just me and my friends playing. Not scheduled play dates or organized sports. Just a bunch of kids in the backyard with some trees and imagination. Did we get hurt? Yes. And the boo-boos were cured with soap and water, a good old-fashioned band-aid and a kiss.

I love technology - to a point. I love my cell phone and my laptop. I am a big fan of the Internet, Blue-ray DVDs, the MP3 player. But I think all of this technology, the speed by which information travels, the medical research ..... all of it has made life less simple.

It is the problem with our government, it is the problem with our family values, it is the problem with society. We have stopped being creative, stopped thinking critically. We are over scheduled, under rested, over stressed. We stopped taking responsibility for our own actions because there is always someone worse (for example, Massachusetts House Speaker Salvatore DiMasi's attorneys state 12 years is too long a sentence for a conviction on fraud and extortion since he only took $65,000.00 and other politicians convicted of the same crime traditionally only get 7 years. Yet the same people who have sent the judge letters of support for DiMasi are the same people who will write comment after comment about how people on welfare need to take responsibility for their own actions! It just makes no sense!

I would like to go back to a time when things were simple, for myself and my children. I want them to enjoy being kids and being young. I want them to realize they can be the cause of their own happiness and well being. That you can't solve your problems with a prescription, that life takes hard work, that you have to live within your means regardless of the credit you could be given.

I think tonight I am tired and disillusioned. I know the "simple" life was not always perfect and perhaps because we tend to only remember the happy memories from childhood my memory of it is vague. But watching that child sleep this evening, while my teenager rushed through a sandwich for dinner after the soccer meeting so he could get his homework done .... I just wished for simple.

US Education ...... I fear for the future!

2011-09-04T20:29:00.000-04:00

Before I get into my tirade about education policy in the US. I just wanted to give some helpful advice to moms of kids starting school for the new year. The best tip I can give you is to properly pack their lunch (and yours): Simple Things to Do to Lessen Back-to-School Stomach Bugs. I had not thought about this, especially with the invention of insulated lunch bags. After all, my mom would send me to school with an egg salad sandwich in a paper lunch bag in June, and I survived!

I would like to start my rant today with a summary of Ron Paul's stance on education (quoted from The Hechinger Report) as he runs for the Republican nomination for President.

Ron Paul: U.S. Representative Paul, of Texas, is a self-proclaimed “homeschooling champion,” even devoting a section of his website to his position on the subject. He supports tax credits for parents who home-school their children and, if elected, promises to “veto any legislation that encroaches on homeschooling parents’ rights.” Paul is for abolishing the U.S. Department of Education—he referred to it as a “propaganda machine” in March—and voted against NCLB in 2001. In a tax credit bill, he once proposed an annual $1,000 tax credit for teachers. Much like Gingrich, Paul is against the federal government giving out student loans for higher education, saying in an interview with MSNBC, “Nobody has a right to somebody else’s wealth. You have a right to your life, you have a right to your property, but you don’t have—education isn’t a right. Medical care isn’t a right. These are things you have to earn.” Paul did later clarify that he was fine with students receiving loans from other sources, such as the schools themselves.

I am amazed and horrified! While I appreciate parents who home-school their children and think they probably do deserve a tax credit for all that work, I also believe there should be standards in place so that we know these children are actually learning their ABCs and 123s. I also think there should probably be some sort of training program to make sure the parents home schooling their children actually are intelligent people who can pass knowledge on to their children.

As for higher education .... I wouldn't be where I am today had I not received my Pell Grant or my (what was called at the time) Educational Incentive Loan (if I graduated from college with a certain GPA it was a grant - if I did not complete college it became a loan ... but we will talk more about this later). And after looking at Ron Paul's biography I would be interested to know whether or not he too benefited from some federal grants and/or loans. While I have to admit that he is correct that education is not a right specified in the Constitution, it is a part of civil society that keeps us one step ahead of the competition. And this is a step we are losing quickly!

However, I recently listened to a report on NPR that the United States has gone from #1 in students who graduate from college to #10. While our high school dropout rates have been declining, our college drop-out rates have been increasing. "For every five students who start in community college, only one finishes within three years, even though community college programs are supposed to be two years or less. The numbers at four year colleges are not much better — only around half the students who enroll manage to get their Bachelors’ degrees in six years." The primary reason for this is money! While the federal government and state governments have been reducing the budgets for state-run institutions and they have been reducing the amount of money available for low-income students ..... tuition at all academic institutions has been increasing.

Since I work at a private university I get the question about tuition all the time: why is it so expensive? Part of the reason is the need for student services. While the report I read, which led me to this blog, says that American high school students are better prepared for college than generations before, I would argue that point. Every freshman class I teach seems to be a little bit more clueless than the class before .... primarily the problems revolve around the ability to write an academic paper and/or think critically. While the international students in my class always have language issues, they can think in a logical manner and make an argument based on facts (they do plagarize more than American students but I have been told that is usually cultural and they are not taught to cite sources). An awful lot of the tuition a student pays where I work goes to student resources like tutors, the learning center and counseling. The other point I always make is that students expect more cool stuff - the latest technology in the classroom, bigger & better dorms, etc. etc. All of those things costs money. But the primary reason for tuition increases at public institutions is lack of federal and state funding.

I DO NOT advocate just throwing more money at public institutions or increasing grants and loans. The system is broken. Colleges get funding based on the number of students they enroll - this translates to Freshmen. Once the students are in the institution, the services or even classes may not be there because there is no consequence to the institution if the student drops out. So, while I fundamentally disagree with everything Ron Paul stands for, I can understand his frustration with the cost of higher education for the government. It is attrocious and it is ridiculous!

We seem to be goverened these days by two political parties .... the party of the system is broken so lets just get rid of the whole thing (whether it is FEMA, EPA, DOE, Welfare, Healthcare) because the government should not be responsible for civil society - clean air, clean water, disaster relief, education, etc. And the party of nothing is wrong so lets just keep putting money into programs that have not necessarily shown positive impact. There has got to be a happy medium. Being able to admit a program doesn't work (such as education and welfare) while still being able to admit that the programs need to work in order for our society to continue. How much better off would our system if higher education be if schools got paid for the number of students it graduated, as opposed to the number of students it gets to walk through the door (if only for one year).

I am worn out from my ranting this evening - so I will save parent involvement in primary & secondary education for another day. I have to go write my syllabus!

Hell Hath No Fury ......

2011-09-01T22:19:00.000-04:00

"All water has a perfect memory and is forever trying to get back to where it was."

~Toni Morrison

So, it has been a crazy week. The beginning of the semester always is! And this year it was more crazy because my oldest started his Sr. Year in high school and my youngest started Kindergarten. And I work at a University so my life has been insane. My intention at the end of this week was to write a blog about education in America. That will come later in the weekend and I am going to go back to my vacation.

We spent a week in New Hampshire exploring along the Pemigewasset river. A week later, Irene hit! I was watching news reports about Campton and the Turkey Jim Bridge and the campground we spent a week at. I am amazed by the fact that my five-year-old walked along in this river - searching for minnows & tadpoles (directly under the covered bridge). We walked over those bridges, I drove over the car bridge.

I have spent summers in these mountains for as long as I can remember. As a child I too chugged along these river beds and searched for small animals that swam near the surface. I so fell in love with the mountains and the river that I moved to New Hampshire in my 20s. My oldest son was born there. I started my College career at Plymouth State - and sometimes after classes I would walk along the river or go swimming just to relax. But this just reminds us that "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!" And boy has Mother Nature been angry lately - floods, eathquakes, drought, fires. My husband says that these are patterns in nature and weather that have occured many times over the years. My response usually is something like .... that's nice, doesn't mean I have to like it!

So, below are the photos I took on our vacation - when the rivers were calm and the bridges in one piece. I will get into deep philosophical observations on another day.

Finding it hard to find inspiration .....

2011-08-25T21:02:00.005-04:00

I have been having a hard time getting back into the swing of things after my vacation. I haven't been posting on Facebook, haven't written a blog ..... just haven't really known what to say. There are of course so many things in the news to talk about:

As I look at this list I realize I am a little overwhelmed. There is so much going on in our world right now ... and not much of it seems to be happy news. You really need to read the fine print in the news to find stories to make you smile such as people in Japan returning money they found after the tsunami. But again, that is positive news in the face of horrific news. For once I would like to turn on the news or boot up the computer and have the headlines be: No one has been killed today, everyone ate 3 meals, the weather is beautiful everywhere and everyone is getting along. Just for one day! Of course the reality of the day after those headlines would probably throw the world in to massive depression. I realize of course that I am babbling and not being very creative.

I will say that I have watched two really great Masterpiece Theatre movies this week: Bleakhouse and North and South. Aside from the fact that I love classical literature (I have actually started reading Bleakhouse, I apparently missed this one during my Dickens phase), I am amazed at how the themes of these particular stories are still in the news today!

Bleakhouse is primarily about a civil court case involving a will that goes on for years to the point that there are only two distant heirs left. By the time the case is settled, there is no money left because it has gone to the attorneys. It is about poverty, despair, drug addiction, inequity. In a word it is a bleak existence (but all works out in the end for the heroes and heroines).

North and South is about unions. The battle between those whose job it is to maintain a profitable business and the workers whose job is to feed the family. I was shocked at how much of an issue this still is today when the original novel the film was based on was written in 1855. Elizabeth Gaskell questions religion, female roles, family, honor and extreme poverty. I feel like if you changed the clothing and the accent you could be talking about so many places in the world today.

I have completely digressed from my topic that I have had a week lacking creativity. But I guess that is ok. So, I will end with answering my last 30-day blog questions .... and then I must be off to plan how I am going to spend the day tomorrow preparing for Irene. I am a firm believer that if you are prepared the storm will swing on by (most of the time, and if it doesn't at least you are prepared)!

The Outsiders

My first celebrity crush: I don't really remember. I know that these two posters were on my bedroom ceiling for a very long time when I was a tween - and I am pretty sure I had some sort of tween crush on all of them (except for Molly Ringwald - although I did want to be her).

The last person who texted me: that would be the teenager - several times a day! I actually love the fact that we communicate more than we did when he did not have unlimited text on his phone. I always know where he is, what he is going and who he is with. It is a great parental invention!

Five Things Within Touching Distance Right Now: I am not going to include the laptop - that is kind of a given.

The five-year-old (he fell asleep next to me and I have not had the ambition to put him back to bed).
A glass of Diet Pepsi
3 remote controls (Television, DVD player & cable)
Map of New Hampshire (from when I was preparing for vacation)
A ceramic hurricane-like lamp that my Nana made

Someone's facebook status I can always count on to annoy me: I don't know how to answer this one. The only people I am friends with on Facebook are people I actually like and am friends with .... anyone who annoys me I have already blocked.

And last ..... name everything in my pocketbook right now:

$5.00 cash & a handful of coins
My wallet - id, credit cards, health insurance cards
checkbook (yes I still carry one)
monthly calender (yes I still have one of those as well)
small photo album of the kids (it actually only holds wallet size pictures)
aveeno hand cream
nail file & clippers
Soft as lips vanilla lip balm
gum
small pill box with Tylenol and Tramadol
keys
ID card for work

That is all I can think of (my pocketbook is actually downstairs and I am not going to get it :)

I hope everyone has a safe Hurricane Irene experience this weekend - see you on the flip side!

Another Fun Thing To Do With Blogs ......

2011-08-21T09:55:00.003-04:00

So, again Sam of Honest to Blog introduced me to a fun blog thing, which she got from Lauren at The Little Things We Do. It is called "Fill in the Blank Friday." But since it is Sunday I guess the title needs to change. Here are the blanks

1. My idea of pure perfection would be World peace & equality for all. But in my little world, hanging out with the boys in the back yard, lobster for dinner and a nice chilled glass of white wine.

2. Dreaming big makes the world go 'round.

3. If it weren't for the fact that I hate winter I'd live in a cabin on a lake in the White Mountains.

4. Bloggers are people with a lot to say .

5. If I had money & ambition I'd buy a Greek restaurant/gift/craft store (sort of like a mini mall of Greekness).

6. I'm glad it's Sunday because I have nothing planned to do today except make dinner for the family .

7. Something I'm excited about is My oldest son starting his senior year in High School and my youngest starting Kindergarten and Soccer .

What Police in a New England City Deal With!

2011-08-20T22:01:00.001-04:00

So, today's blog question is to talk about my siblings. My parents divorced when I was 3. My mom remarried when I was 4 and my step-dad adopted me (he was daddy from that point on! One of my favorite sayings is "anyone can be a father but it takes someone special to be a daddy). So, I was raised as an only child. I did meet my 2 half-sisters and brother when I was about 18 and we were in touch for a number of years. Due to family drama we lost touch. I have found them again on Facebook and I hope we can someday be close.

So - on that note I decided to write a blog about funny things that happen where I live. On Facebook there is a local news page called The Patch and you can follow the blog for cities all over the US. Part of this blog is the "Tales from the Police Log." Mixed among the robberies and sadness are some entries that make me laugh so hard I thought I should share - because really couldn't we all use a little laughter in our lives!

August 18, 2011

At 3:32 p.m., a Sprague Street resident called police about a cat that is constantly trying to get into his house. Animal control responded, but did not find the cat.

August 16, 2011

1:11 p.m. A caller on Lowell Street reported she would like to turn in a weapon found in her house. An officer said the woman thought it was a taser, but it was actually just a battery charger.

August 15, 2011

9:30 a.m. A caller on Highland Street reported he had a bat isolated in a room in his home. He said neither he nor any member of his family came into direct contact with the bat or spent the night exposed to it. The animal control officer advised him to open the window and let it fly out on its own or hire an exterminator.

August 8, 2011

1:54 p.m. A caller on Columbia Boulevard reported he left his bicycle at a Castle Circle residence and a person there sold it. Police said the bike wasn't stolen or sold. The person was just teasing his friend. Both of them were "advised to refrain from their youthful shenanigans." ...... (doesn't the word "shenanigans" just make you smile?)

August 7, 2011

3:40 p.m. Police received a call of a snapping turtle in the road at the corner of Lowell Street and Samos Circle. The person said the turtle was causing a traffic hazard.

July 30, 2011

12:51 p.m. The Fire Department requested assistance with ducks in a pool on Daniel Terrace.

July 20, 2011

9:07 a.m. A resident on King Street reported she lost her chicken. The female said her chicken got loose the night before and was missing. The chicken is described as “solid black.”

July 21, 2011

1:54 p.m. A male caller reported he had the missing chicken from Wednesday morning. The owner was contacted and put in touch with the man. (just FYI - there are no farms on King Street!)

These are just a few of the entries that I found particularly amusing! I am sure every city/town has similar stories. Again - I am not saying that there are not terrible things that happen, that make me shake my head and wonder what this world is coming to. It never ceases to amaze me what one human being will do to another human being.

30-Day Blog Challenge Catch Up!

2011-08-19T23:00:00.001-04:00

So, just a reminder (since I have been gone for awhile): On July 29th I decided to join Sam and Cheryl in completing the 30-day blog challenge. The goal was to post everyday for 30 days and answer all the questions/prompts. Well - since I have not posted since August 11th I am 8 days behind and August 29th is fast approaching .... so here is the catch up post!

Talk about your family:

Family is such a huge word! There is the family in my home - my husband and the boys! I like to think we are the happiest dysfunctional family you will ever meet. On most days there are two people in the house not getting along about something. It could be my husband and the teenager (step families are really hard to blend), or me and the pre-schooler (I discipline more than Daddy), or me and the teenager (do I have to explain this one, he is after all a teenager) or the five-year-old & seventeen-year-old, or it could be all of us and the dog! Who knows .... our life would be pretty boring without the drama we create. But at the end of the day there is nothing we wouldn't do for the other - whether it is the boys taking care of me when I am not feeling well, or my husband giving the teenager rides to work, or the teenager protecting his brother from older kids. We care about each other and love each other regardless of our faults (and we admit to many). Then there are my parents ... who are fabulous and who we could not live without! I do not have the time or space here to go through the list of trouble my parents have gotten me out of - including our vacation this week (we booked our vacation before we got the puppy, they do not allow dogs so my parents dog sat for the week). My Nana (my only grandparent still living) is one of my idols. I think she would be even if she was not family!

My family is not perfect - there are people I don't speak to much or get along with all the time or agree with on many occasions, but they are family and you can't choose the family you are born into. Overall I think I am fortunate and I am glad I have the family I have.

Things that instantly make you happy:

I have a page on my blog ....1,000 things that make me smile. I have been trying to update the page on a regular basis, the idea was to find one thing everyday that makes me smile. Again - I am a little behind. But here are a few things:

My children's laughter
Coffee
Watching my children do things that make them happy
Quiet mornings (with coffee)
My House

Name the thing you are most scared of:

First it is always my children being hurt - not a booboo hurt that a bandaid will fix, but the kind of hurt that Mommy can't fix. That is the thing that will wake me up in a cold sweat.

Then there is the completely irrational and illogical fear of driving on the highway. Many years ago I suffered from panic attacks (I have since learned that this can be one of the weird lupus symptoms I suffer from). I had several while driving on the highway. The thing about panic attacks is that they happen for no rhyme or reason - your body suddenly goes into fight or flight mode, and on the highway you have nowhere to go. So ever since then I will avoid the highway at all costs. This is not a bad thing - I have discovered alot of small out of the way places on back roads that I never would have found speeding by on the highway. I can drive on the highway if I have to, I just prefer not to.

Your favorite music:

I have been known to like all kinds of music. I admit I am not one to seek out new music. I tend to stick to my favorite songs (see the blog about my MP3 player). But I am willing to listen to just about anything. Right now I love the show Glee! and I actually tortured the boys all week listening to it in the car!

How important do you think education is:

I think education is the most important thing you can give your children. I don't mean that I think everyone needs to go to college (of course don't tell this to my boss - enrollment is part of my job). Some of the smartest people I know never went to college - but they were always learning. Education can come in so many forms, whether it is learning about your job, or about politics, or nature. So, I think everyone needs to keep learning and education should be a vital part of a child's life.

What is one of your favorite TV shows:

Right now I have two. I like both of them because they are completely unrealistic and give me that sort of break from reality that is needed. One is just funny, the other is full of suspense. Glee and The Walking Dead. I can't pick one as my favorite because they each have a different purpose.

What is the last movie you saw in the theatre:

This answer actually compliments the last answer! Last Friday my mom and I went to see Glee 3D. My husband got me 8th row tickets to see The Glee Live Tour for my birthday and I went with my mom. We went to see the movie to see if you could see us in the audience (you can't, they did not use our concert as part of the footage). If you are a Glee junkie it was a great movie, if you are not I don't recommend it! :)

List photos of 5 famous guys you think are attractive:

Wow - seeing them all together I just realized how much they all look alike!

So, I am all caught up on my 30-day blog! Hope you enjoy!

Technology Free Vacation!!!

2011-08-19T19:44:00.001-04:00

Well, there have been no posts in awhile, I have been in the White Mountains with the family enjoying the world without technology and without news! No Internet, no e-mail, no Facebook, no blogs, no television, minimal cell phone service (they are good to have in case you lose each other at Storyland or Clark's Trading Post). We enjoyed a couple mile walk in the Pemigewasset River (nature photos to follow shortly), campfires, some antique shops, hiking at The Polar Caves and catching crayfish and tadpoles along the river, and frogs in the forest. Overall it was a really nice week. The "cabin" we stayed was a bit scary (I am actually not sure this adjective is strong enough for the situation, but it will do). The cabin was actually a very small old trailer, covered in wood to look like a cabin, and that was ok. But we walked in to find a hole in the floor covered by a rug and when I put the pillows on the table it collapsed (I will not even attempt to describe the scent of the cabin for I do not think adequate words exist). One "bedroom" was big enough for the bed and that was it. The other "bedroom" was really a closet with bunkbeds. The five year old was impressed, but the six-foot teenager was not amused (fortunately there was a pullout bed in the "livingroom/kitchen"). After the 70+ year-old owner and his grandson came by to check things out, we ended up with a piece of plywood drilled over the hole, and they took the table off the wall, mounted it to the top if a stool and brought it back we settled in for our camping adventure! The location was fabulous and they had a tractor ride through the forest and waterslides at the pool, so overall the vacation was a success! But I was so glad to be home and take a long shower and get the old laptop fired up. There is so much to catch up on and I do not even want to think about what my work e-mail is going to look like! Perhaps later this evening I will catch up on the 30-day blog .... but that may have to wait until tomorrow, I don't want to rush back into the hectic world of technology just yet!

My first memory & favorite blogs ........

2011-08-11T21:18:00.002-04:00

My first memory is very vivid. I don't actually know how old I was, but it had to be before I was three because my parents were still living together. We lived in a 2nd floor apartment. I remember it being big - but that could have just been because I was small. I remember my bedroom was off my parent's bedroom and I have a big bay window with a bench you could sit on.

The memory is actually partially a dream about a huge spider. I remember I thought it was at the foot of my bed trying to get me and I screamed. My father came into my room - but I only remember him as a silhouette. He came and got the spider and took it out of my room and put me back to bed. Now I am pretty sure there was not really a huge spider (I mean huge - like Aragog in Harry Potter) and I can't be 100% sure that the whole thing was not a dream. But I remember it. I have very few memories of my father and this is one I hold dear to my heart!

Since I skipped the blog yesterday I shall answer the next question as well. As you know, I am new to the whole blog thing, but I have found a few that I read quite often (well, whenever they post):

Coffee With Cheryl: Cheryl is actually my blog guru! She has taught me all I know (Thanks)

Home Thoughts: Tony is my pen pal from England! Having read my previous blogs you will know what a thrill that is for me!

Mark's Space: Mark writes about writing and has a pretty cool view of things!

Herstory - Poderings, Passions & Politics: The Wizewoman keeps me honest and in touch with my feminism! She reminds me to always be true to me!

The Katherine Wheel: I just started following this one. I just love the way she writes and her outlook on parenting with humor!

Honest to Blog: Sam introduced me to the 30-day blog! And it really has been fun!

So I thought that would be it for today. But Mark shared a video on his blog today that I think should go viral. It is about pride in the face of pain. This man is an incredible spirit and I think everyone should celebrate him and his child!