Family Friday ..... well kind of ....

Things have gotten pretty crazy around my house. With the semester over I thought I would have some more time at home to hang out and chill. But not so much. I forgot about the one season of the year that stresses me out more than winter .... graduation season! 

It has been an array of evening events for the past several weeks, along with events to tantalize the new students we expect in September, student award ceremonies, new student networking, online orientations, all culminating this Sunday with a graduation I must arrive at somewhere around 7:30 am and summer session teaching starting on Monday. In between all of this I have started an internship as a clinical mental health counselor. So, on top of the orientations I have been conducting, there are orientations I am attending. 

Some days I feel like I am in the middle of a tornado, or the eye of a hurricane watching everything whirl around me, balancing oh so carefully so I don't fall in. Of course these are the moments that you need to make sure those around you don't fall in either. The husband, the kids, the parents. I have to admit, I have let a little bit of that go recently. At moments like this you run the risk of taking the people you love for granted, assuming they will always be there. But in the past year several things have happened that make me very conscious of this, a friend's suicide, a family members illness and the way in which she has dealt with it, the separation of a friend's marriage;  and I remind myself regularly to take stock of my life and my world, the people I have to be thankful for and try to, in a small way, let them know, that I know, I couldn't do this without them. 

May is Lupus awareness month. And each year I think to myself that I am going to do something profound to bring awareness and compassion to people with autoimmune disease and chronic (chronic what? stress, pain, exhaustion, frustration, misunderstanding, all of the above). It hasn't happened yet primarily because it coincides with graduation season I have not come up with or executed any grand plan. 

The good news is that I feel healthier than I have in a long time. I think this has more to do with keeping my mind busy, not having time to focus on the fact that I don't feel good as opposed to actually being healthier. The problem of course with feeling healthier and not actually being healthier is that you push yourself beyond what you're physically capable of and you crash - generally on a day you have something you are really looking forward to do. When your body tries to beep in and you ignore the call, eventually it will come to your door and knock until you answer. I am not always good at answering the call. 

For Mother's Day my seven-year-old wrote a poem and it included "mom's favorite thing to do." He answered, sit on the couch. This bothered me profoundly, that this is the way he sees me. I know that in time he will remember all the things we do together (I see that now with his older brother), he will understand why I rest when I can. But for that moment, it hurt (as parenting often does) and created another touch point for me to take stock and prioritize. 

The summer is coming and I tried to come up with a list of places we would go, or things we would do, and I got overwhelmed and tired just thinking about it. And then I found this  - anyone with 2nd grade kids may find this interesting. The Magic Tree House Journal is something you can fill out with your child all year. They have winter, spring, summer, fall scavenger hunts, and questions about what animals you can find in your yard, etc. It is like being on a Jack & Annie adventure. This is a priority over the next year. So next mother's day perhaps this will be on the list of mom's favorite things to do. 

In the meantime, I must get ready for my internship orientation, followed by an event tonight. Tomorrow consists of a family birthday party and errands, Sunday morning is graduation, then soccer, then visiting a car dealership with my older son who wants to buy his own car. Every minute carefully planned and penciled in my calendar. I will let you know how the execution goes! 

How to enjoy a rainy Saturday!

Another semester has come and gone. This was a rough one! I took three classes, taught one class, worked full-time and played mommy. Again it was such a blur I am not sure what I actually learned ..... grades will be out soon so that will at least tell me what I managed to convince my professors I learned. 

I had all sorts of plans for today, finally plant some flowers and clean the front yard were on the top of my list. After the winter we had my little flower garden and my strawberry patch are looking pretty sad (the pictures are of my garden seeing better days! If I took a picture now it would be a barren wasteland). But mother nature had other plans for me .... cold icky rain. This is probably for the best, because my body has just realized that a lot of the pressure is off and it just wants to sit on the couch and do absolutely nothing all day! 

How does one accomplish that with an active seven year old in the house? Sometimes it is ok for your child to spend a rainy Saturday doing nothing! This is something that parents today seem to struggle with. In a culture where life is so scheduled and we are told not to let them watch too much television or play too many video games we forget that sometimes it is ok to just chill. Right now he is on the phone with his best friend while they both play Club Penguin. I am in the other room having my own private Walking Dead marathon. 

One of the things that I have learned in my classes over the past two semesters is that we as a society have put too much pressure on our children at too young an age. Too many parents want their children to do everything that they think will give them an edge in adulthood - sports, drama, music lessons, church, academics, the right friends, every second of every day scheduled to the hilt. Add to that bullying, the isolation caused by social media, and an increasing acceptance of violence in our communities and what we have done is raise a generation of very young children with anxiety disorders, eating disorders and other mental health problems.

The conclusion I have come to is that it is ok to spend a rainy Saturday doing nothing. Allow your brain to relax, spend the day curled up on the couch watching Scooby Doo. Maybe bake a cake or do some coloring ... maybe not. And most important for a completely stress free Saturday .... stay in your pajamas! 

After I ended classes on Thursday (I handed in two 10-15 page papers, gave a group presentation & did an individual presentation) I got a massage on Friday. I have talked about this before, but I think it is worth mentioning again. If you have lupus or even fibromyalgia I can't recommend massage enough! While it seems counter-intuitive to recommend massage for people who have chronic pain and inflammatory disease I am convinced that my monthly massage is what has kept me going for these past 4 months of classes and craziness. 

I get my massages at Massage Envy and they are FABULOUS!!! What I like most about them is that they asked about my health history and my health concerns on my fist appointment and matched me with a therapist who specializes in working with people who have chronic pain. She asks me before each session if I am in a flare or if I am having really bad fibro pain and she adjusts my massage accordingly. Most of the time, 99.9% of the time, a massage makes me energized and focused and ready to take on the world! But yesterday I was in such rough shape that it just made me tired and I don't know if it was the sudden release of energy, but I actually ended up with a migraine. I only mention this because people with chronic pain who start massage therapy need to understand that every once and awhile you may feel worse after a massage the next day. This does not mean it isn't working, it just means your body is in a different place on that day. 

The last thing I want to mention today before I embrace my day of NOTHING is a blog that is worth the read. Still Life is written by my cousin's wife. I have had people tell me that the way I handle lupus is inspirational - I don't see it. When I think of someone who is an inspiration, this is the kind of person I think about - and when I feel like giving in to self-pity, this is the kind of person I look to. If you have the time it is well worth the read! 

So, here is to starting a summer full of inspiration ... gardens and sunshine and beaches and travels ..... with an occasional rainy Saturday of absolutely nothing sprinkled in the mix!