Thoughtful Thursday ... what every child should see

I have come across two things recently that I feel strongly every middle-class American child should see.

The PBS Frontline Documentary that tries to answer: What Does Poverty Mean to Children? and a photo essay entitled: When a Kid's Bedroom Isn't a Room.

I saw the documentary right before Thanksgiving and I sat on my comfy couch - with my big television and my laptop and everything else that I see every single day and the guilt washed over me and I just cried. I went on Facebook and I vented but that doesn't seem enough.

I worked in a shelter for battered women and children for a number of years. I remember they came to the shelter with the clothes on their backs and maybe a backpack. People asked me over and over how I could work in such a depressing environment. The answer always was that there was joy in that house. A sense of hope and a sense of unity that I have yet to find anywhere else. Do not get me wrong - it was stressful and it was frustrating and it was hard. The hardest part for me was leaving my job at the door of the shelter when I went home. But I thought that was my calling - to help others as others had helped me. But I got burnt out ... always with the system, never with the women.

I think this was a good experience for my older son because he would come to the shelter with me and help sort through donations. He would come with me to events and things - he got to see children who were happy with what they had  - and they did not have much.

Now I teach a class on social change to college students. I try to teach them that there is a connection between everything in the world (specifically for this course there is a connection between the government (public) sector, the business (private) sector and society (nonprofit) sector). I try to teach business students about corporate social responsibility - about giving back for all that they receive.

I try to teach social entrepreneurship - let students know that making a difference and making a profit do not need to be mutually exclusive. So maybe this is my way to give back ... I don't know.

But what I can do is make sure that when my children ask for new phones and iPods and video games and action figures they understand that there are children who don't have toys. When the six-year-old complains that there is not enough food he likes in the house I can remind him that there are children who have no food. When they get frustrated that we don't have the money to do all that we want to do or get them all that we want to get them I can remind them of the 10-year-old girl in the documentary collecting cans so her family can have money for food - while they are living in one motel room with no refrigerator.

The world we live in is so insane! The distribution of wealth sometimes makes no sense to me. We work and work really hard to succeed in our own version of the American dream - and then realize that we are really one tragedy away of raising our children in a shelter. It is scary. And what we really want to do is hide from it - because in it we see ourselves.

So pay it forward - one good deed at a time - small bites.

• Teach the lesson at home that you can't judge a book by its cover.
• Teach the lesson at home that being grateful fills you more than material things.
• Teach the lesson at home that bringing a smile to a stranger's face counts.
• Teach the lesson at home that living a comfortable life as opposed to an affluent life is not a failure.
• Teach the lesson at home that there is always someone who has it worse than we do.

http://goodypalmer.tumblr.com/post/16638109651/source

It is only when we start looking out for each other and stop looking out for number one that this world will be a better place for all children to live in. Maybe that sounds socialist - but that isn't exactly what I am trying to say. If you work hard you should do well - and you should be proud of doing well. But do not forget that there is someone out there working equally as hard - who may not have had the privileges or opportunities you had, but never-the-less needs to feed their family. Maybe they clean your office, or pick up your trash or wake up at 4:00 am so you can get coffee on your way to work. Those families should not be valued any less than the people who sit in a corner office making the decisions that will impact the lives of people they will never meet.

What happened to Thanksgiving?

Hallowgivingmas is an actual word in the Urban Dictionary. It is the reality that in October you can purchase your Halloween costume, your napkins for Thanksgiving and your Christmas lights all at the same time in the same store. It is ridiculous and sad!

 

My husband and I used to LOVE Black Friday. The kids would stay at my mom's house, we would get up at 4:00 am and be at the store for the 5:00 am opening. The stores would have coffee & donuts for the "crazy" people waiting in line and we would meet some very interesting people while we waited. The reality is we never really bought much. We just really thought it was novel and fun to get up early and go shopping. Every once and awhile we would find a good deal (I purchased my first digital camera on Black Friday) - but in general it was just fun (we are both avid people watchers).

 

And then one year there were police cruisers in the parking lot (just in case). The coffee & donuts were gone. The people in line were now corralled around the store. The conversation was no longer friendly. Then there were the people who were trampled to death and pepper sprayed and the fighting (there is actually a webpage that ranks the most brutal Black Friday incidents)!  And the sales - well it was just junk they had not been able to sell the rest of the year. Then stores started opening at 4:00 am, then 2:00 am, then midnight. And this year they have all but eviscerated Thanksgiving: stores are opening at 8:00 pm on Thanksgiving beginning the new tradition of "Black Thursday!"

 

So what is the tradition of Thanksgiving anyway? Why do we celebrate this holiday in the first place?

 

I try not to think of the story of Thanksgiving as beginning with the Pilgrims and Native Americans. Because let's be honest, the Native Americans shared their farming techniques and their food, the Pilgrims shared Small Pox and thievery. But that is a story for another blog. For the purposes of this blog we will just talk about the American tradition of Thanksgiving.

 

Thanksgiving began as a religious holiday to thank God for a good harvest and and in 1789 George Washington issued the first Thanksgiving proclamation by the national government of the United States; in it, he called upon Americans to express their gratitude for the happy conclusion to the country’s war of independence and the successful ratification of the U.S. Constitution.  But states all celebrated on their own day and in their own way. Then in 1863, President Lincoln needed something to bring the nation together during the Civil War so he declared one national day of Thanksgiving - which would occur on last Thursday of November.

 

So, for 78 years people used the Thanksgiving holiday to be thankful - for a good harvest, for times of peace, for family, for friends. It was a holiday where no gifts were required. People shared food and good conversation. The change began in 1924 with the Macy's Christmas parade - which began as a way for employees to celebrate the upcoming Christmas season. And it changed completely in 1941 when Franklin Roosevelt changed the holiday to the fourth Thursday of November so that the Christmas shopping season could be a little longer. It was all downhill from there!

 

Go to a store today looking for Thanksgiving napkins and you are not likely to find them - they have been on clearance shelves for weeks at this point. Ask people what their plans are for Thanksgiving and it will likely have a reference to an early dinner before the shopping spree begins. What happened to being thankful for what we already have?

 

This of course is a blog about the bigger picture since we as a people seem incapable of being thankful for what we have. As technology moves faster and faster - as there is always a new generation of phone or tablet or video game, there is always something to stand in line for because the product we purchased 6 months ago is not good enough now.

 

But look closer and you will find pockets of thankfulness. People who are just happy to sit around a table with people they don't get to see as much as they would like. People who are thankful to have food to eat. People who are grateful to have one day a year to reflect on the good things that have happened since last Thanksgiving. My home is one of those pockets.

 

I am planning my Thanksgiving this week. The menu, the food shopping list, schedule of cooking. My husband and I may get up early on Friday and go shopping - but I refuse to go shopping on Thursday. I hold sacred the fact that this is the one day a year where we focus on family without distraction.

 

 

So happy Thanksgiving - however you choose to celebrate!

Avarice

The American Heritage Dictionary defines GREED as: "An excessive desire to acquire or possess more than what one needs or deserves, especially with respect to material wealth.

The Cambridge Dictionary defines GREED as:  "a very strong wish to continuously get more of something, especially food or money."

The Urban Dictionary defines GREED as:

1. The defining characteristic of human nature. 2. The desire to own or control more resources than others. 3. The root of all evil.

Webster's Dictionary defines GREED as: "a selfish and excessive desire for more of something (as money) than is needed."

The Bible discusses GREED as:

Luke 12:15 ~ Then he said to them, "Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions."
Proverbs 15:27 ~ "The greedy bring ruin to their households, but the one who hates bribes will live."

There are hundres of quotes about GREED:

"Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power." P.J O'Rourke

"As time goes on we get closer to that American Dream of there being a pie cut up and shared. Usually greed and selfishness prevent that and there is always one bad applie in every barrel." Rick Danko

"Greed is a bottomless pit which exhausts the person in an endless effort to satisfy the need without ever reaching satisfaction." Erich Fromm

So, why am I spouting off about Greed? I have spent a great deal of time defining and researching greed this morning. It was an article that popped up when I turned on my computer: Bailed-out AIG wants $30.2 million in tax interest.

I was shocked and dumbfounded. I mean wasn't AIG one of those companies that contributed to the mess we are all facing? Wasn't it my tax dollars that bailed them out and allowed them to post billions in profits this year? And yet they want more.

I have talked about it before and will probably vent about it again. I am not against capitalism. When the market economy began, as we moved from agriculture to industry, local business owners sole purpose was to turn a profit. That profit was then given back to the community ~ jobs, taxes, supply chain, civic improvements ~ and of course some went into the pockets of the business owners. The community gave to the business and the business gave to the community.

Today it seems that the community gives to the business - and we are not getting much in return. Corprations want more and more tax breaks - jobs are going overseas (and the ones that are here don't pay enough or have enough benefits for people to live) - they cut corners on safety - all in the name of the almighty profit. And in return for billion dollar profits and million dollar bonuses, crumbs are thrown to the peasents in the form of corporate social responsibility. It is the modern day fiefdom and our rulers are Exxon, Walmart, Nintendo and AIG.

Greed trickles down to the peasants as well. While there are examples of companies that are extremely socially responsible: Green Mountain, Stonyfield Farm, TOMS Shoes and ADIDAS, the are always examples of people who scam the system and take from the government without giving anything back. Both are exceptions to the rule. It always amazes me when people get angry about welfare and say things like "they should just get a job." Especially today, when companies like Home Depot only offer temporary 45 day seasonal employment with no benefits, someone would have to work 80 hours a week at $8.00 (minimum wage), to make $33, 280 a year (before taxes). And since those people would probably be working several part-time jobs, they wouldn't have health insurance or any benefits.

Greed comes in many forms, with many faces, and it angers me ~ but I am big enough to admit I am not immune - I spent the 4th of July doing the most American thing I could think of .... I went to the mall.